Greenville Mayhem vs. Zombo's WildDawgs

At kickoff, the Yahoo guru had Zombo's team favored by 4 points. In an effort to put the best team on the field, Mayhem vacillated between Percy Harvin and Eddie Royal choosing Harvin, who turned out to be the wrong choice. No matter. By the conclusion of play on Sunday night it looked like it would be Zombo's Michael Crabtree vs. Mayhem's New Orleans Defense on Monday Night to decide the contest. The WildDawgs needed 18 points to catch Greenville. Zombo got his ninja on and directed the dreaded Z-hex at the Greenville, SC team. Mayhem used her magical silver Wonder Woman bracelets to deflect the hex, which rebounded and struck T's Jelly Donuts (more on that later). Thus Mayhem emerged victorious, 99-74.

T's Jelly Donuts vs. Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi

A stunned Mr. T was overheard to mumble, "Betty White would kick my team's ass." Moments later, after adding zero + zero, the lightbulb went on and the Donut's discovered the true cause of his team's pathetic display of pointlessness, "Zombo put the jedi hex on my team!" The sad fact is, it was a ricochet that caused z-power to grant the win to Texas Chainsaw, 95-35. Chainsaw points to Jay Cutler (23) and Antonio Gates (20) as the reasons for the win but we all know better. The evidence: Zero points from Devin Armashodu and Seattle's Defense for the Jelly Donuts. The 60 point margin of victory for Chainsaw gives them Toyota honors for the week.

Calfox KosarDawgs vs. Ballantyne Buckeyes

Entering Monday Night Football it was Buckeyes 72, KosarDawgs 69. Calfox had suffered a blow from Brett Favre (-4) and was forced to wait in suspense to see if Marques Colston could make up the difference against the SF 49ers. It turns out that Colston was up to the challenge, scoring 9 points. Final Score: KosarDawgs 78, Buckeyes 72. Since the Dawgs' only other QB choice is Jake Delhomme, he's looking for some QB help to replace the aging and underperforming Favre.

Usual Suspects vs. Insert Clever Name

If Jahvid's best (42 points) isn't enough to win, you know you've had a rough fantasy football week. Insert Clever Name is feeling that pain. The Usual Suspects enjoyed outstanding performances from Michael Vick (19), Miles Austin (19), Frank Gore (29), LeSean McCoy (30) and assorted other outstanding players to win 143-96. Congrats on the Viagra Award for this week, Suspects!

Dot the I vs. Beanpot

The I's have it! After trailing through the weekend, Dot the I tacked on points from Drew Brees (18) and Pierre Thomas (14) to win their second game of the season. Dot the I 107, Beanpot 84.

Huskymania vs. Navdawgs Browns

Navdawgs Browns joins the Ballantyne Buckeyes and T's Jelly Donuts as the teams who have yet to register wins for the season. Huskymania is solidly in the middle of the pack after winning 85-64.

Oreo's League

Dirty Hands and Kamc19 were evenly matched by the fantasy guru who predicted 84 points for each. Judging by the outcome, the guru needs to polish the crystal ball, redeal the Tarot cards, tune the psychic sensors and realign his/her Chi. Dirty Hands 79, Kamac19 65.

The tool dudes pounded one another this week. Emerging from the carnage was The Hammer who knocked off hammertime 95-81.

Beanpot vs. Kentucky Barn Burner

This game looked like it was going to be close. It was 79-75 with Clark to go for Beanpot and Addai for Kentucky. Wagers were proposed but no actual cash changed hands. The Barn Burner fizzled and Beans' Clark scored 16. Final: Beanpot won game #2 for the season, 95-84.

Ben There Raped That stumbled for the second week in a row, falling to DD's 83-92. The Double D's were jubilant in victory, "Bringing the beat down!"

The Bronx Browns get the spiny cactus award this week for leaving a slot unfilled in his lineup ::boo hiss:: leaving an additional 15 points on the bench. Those 15 points would have given the Browns their first win of the season but an error resulted in a loss. Wait.... that sounds familiar. Choo Choo's chug to victory 64-56.

Oreo, the bodacious cat, yowled, "May the better cat win!' and, claws out, used the combination of Andre Johnson (28) and Jahvid Best (42) to ground Lambdo's Air Show 140-79. The "catlion" bagged the Viagra Award and the Toyota Trophy.

The Heidi Report

My Helmets 2Tight 87, 2-0-0, RunninUover 75, 1-1-0

Although QB Rivers threw 2 Interceptions, he also threw for 334 yds and 2 Touchdowns to help Helmet in their second win. Lead scorers: Phillip Rivers 20, Calvin Johnson 15

Even though Runnin was handed a loss in week 2, WR Roddy White did a fine job with 7 catches for 78 yds and a 7 yds TD, another strong performance. Lead scorers, Roddy White 18, Knowschon Moreno 17.

Brownies 1-1-0 97, Tecmo 0-2-0 71

Brownies baked up their first win in week 2 with RB Jahvid Best's whopper of a game by becoming the 1st rookie in NFL history with 75 yards rushing (78) and 150 yards receiving (154) in a single game. After the game Best was heard to say the Gatorade's on me! Lead scorers: Jahvid Best 42, Donald Driver 12

Tecmo Bo doesn't have a win yet but the season is early and all of his players helped out a bit. WR DeSean Jackson was Michael Vick's target this week, for passes that is for 135 yds and a TD. Lead scorers: DeSean Jackson 19, Garrett Hartley 12.

lets go browns 0-2-0 69, stewartcj1 1-1-0 83

lets go browns couldn't pick up a win this week but TE Antonio Gates continues his hot start with another solid game. No longer bothered by foot problems, Gates already has three TD receptions. Lead scorers: Antonio Gates 20, Eli Manning 9.

stewartcj1 got a split for himself this week with his first win no thanks to RB Brandon Jacobs hissy fit by throwing his helmet into the stands. He apologized to stewartcj1 but still got no juice and cookies after the game like his team mates that played nice. Lead scorers: Adrian Peterson 22, Matt Schaub 25.

ImisstheKosarDays 1-1-0 88, Cleveland Steamers 2-0-0 97

KosarDays "missed" the mark this week yet all team members added points to his score and can breathe a little easier because Sims-Walker bounced back from being held without a catch in Week 1. Lead scorers: Mike Sims-Walker 21, Miles Austin 19.

Cleveland Steamers steamed their way to victory #2 with the help of WR Andre Johnson who had 158 yds receiving and tied a career high with 12 catches but left the game in the 2nd half with a sprained right ankle. Lead scorers: Andre Johnson 28, Wes Welker 14.

why cant we win 0-2-0 75, Nw220 1-1-0 97

So far, why cant we win is still asking himself why can't I win with his second straight loss. But on a positive note, QB Drew Brees completed 28 of 38 passes for 254 yards and two TDs. Lead scorers: Drew Brees 18, Reggie Wayne 19.

Nw220's RB Frank Gore redeemed himself this week. He carried 20 times for 112 yards and a Rushing touchdown. And had 7 catches. This was win #1 for Nw220. Lead scorers: Frank Gore 29, Payton Manning 23.

Ballantyne Bruisers 2-2-0 94, fatherof3 1-1-0 85

RB LeSean McCoy played a big part in Bruisers 2nd win of the season when he recorded the first 100-yard rushing performance of his career Sunday , rushing for 120 yards and three touchdowns on 16 carries. Lead scorers: LeSean McCoy 30, Aaron Rodgers 24.

fatherof3 turned in a respectable showing against the Bruisers. RB Pierre Thomas had 18 carries for 46 yards. And the sometimes erratic QB Jay Cutler ended with 277 yards and three touchdowns after a shaky start. Lead scorers: Jay Cutler 23, Pierre Thomas 14.

The Toyota "Greatest Fantasy Victor" this week was Brownies 97 vs. Tecmo Bo 71 +26 pts. Congrats Brownies.

Great effort by all coaches in League 3. And a reminder, you can vote each week on each match up as to whom you think will win.

Zombo's Zingers

In League IV, the BigBadDawgs are looking awful Big and Bad, absolutely crushing The Werewolves of Linden 158-60. The BBD had four players score 19 or more points, including a huge 42 from someone named Jahvid Best (I guess we all know him now) to win by an incredible 98 points.

Mr. Freeze's Snowmen also moved to 2-0 by chilling Calfox's KosarDawgs 104-82 . Despite getting nearly nothing from QB Flacco, the Snowmen had solid output from all of their backs and receivers to roll over Cal's otherwise good effort.

Polk High stayed undefeated as well by outscoring the Flea Flickers 96-89 in perhaps the league's most entertaining contest. Shady McCoy put up 30 for the Flickers, but it wasn't enough as Polk was rewarded for starting Mike Vick at QB and took the lead for good when Reggie Wayne got them 19 Sunday Night.

Team InglewoodJack became the fourth team with a perfect record by edging the TXChainsawMassquoi's 77-76 behind a solid 20-point day by Phillip Rivers. The 'Quoi's had a chance to pull off the win, but Ahmad Bradshaw let them down with just 5 points Sunday Night.

It was a family affair as Papa Huskymania taught Son Jumping Jack Flash a lesson: never rely on a QB as old as your Dad. Bret Favre stumbled to a -4 for the Flash, while the guy that replaced him, Aaron Rodgers scored 24 and led Daddy Dearest to a 79-40 stomping of Junior.

And finally, Zombo's MildDawgs whimpered their way to another beating, this time at the hands of Bermeck's KY Hicks. The Hicks pulled out a pathetic 65-60 win, but will have to sleep with themselves knowing they got more than a third of their points by relying on Pittsburgh's defense. I hope you're happy Bermie.