The Talking Heads once sang that heaven is a place where nothing ever happens. Heaven, then, is a Browns game, a nonevent between moribund teams with few recognizable stars that ends in a 6-3, 13-12, or 14-10 final score. When not losing convincingly to good teams, the Browns challenge the devotion and attention span of fans everywhere by wasting whole afternoons in slow-motion tugs of war against fellow thrill ascetics.

Sums it all up for me.

After 40 years, it may be time to get a life.

Hate that.