1) "My supporters know that I believe in our precious oil supply, our innocent babies' smiles and our innovation."

2) "I want an America where street gangs and corrupt politicians cannot corrupt our right to bear arms."

3) "I will not stand for an America where pot smokers and pharmaceutical companies can make a mockery of our hard-working neighborhoods"

The answer? Well, nobody. Just some randomly generated political rhetoric, from this site. Worth a good giggle, and has plenty of other topics, like the NFL:

"Bowland had better use the receiving advantage and split the goal line formation, John, or this game is over."

"You take Ronovich - all balance no concentration - 11:25 to halftime and pinned at the 44 - I think he'll use the tackling advantage and long bomb to his left guard, John."

Or, financial advice:

"The smart investor this season will never diversify high-maturity debt tranches."