With testicles made out of brass

In inclement weather

He'd clang them together

And lightning shot out of his ass

- anonymous

Soon, that bracing part will be gone too.....

Know a few who have new knees and hips and, to a man, they all recovered quickly and improved their lives immensely...

My Dad has titanium balls and says they're great!!!!......so there's that too....

And Mr. Shelton Bean Haden III is quite the ground hog sniffer outer.....just saying.....

next spring, and after they reach down into the groundhog holess,

grab em, and yank em out and throw em up into the air...

I shoot them like clay pigeons.... except I haven't found anybody tough enough

to be my groundhog beagle....

It figures Haslam fired the hc and gm while I was gone. And JM can't help but be

his own worst enemy, says one thing, promises that one thing, and does another.

And now, we find out he got a ticket for having expired plates about a week ago.

My suggestion for the Browns NFL draft... is to ask Pettine and Farmer who the top two qb's they

think the Browns need at qb...

then make sure they don't draft either one. I have to find a new phys therapist - I met the guy today,

and he said I'm well behind most of the knee replacement patients on range of motion, and ass..umed

that I wasn't working out at home, and I pulled a small lower back, upper right buttock muscle, and without

telling me first, he got impatient with the speed of my first of twenty knee bends... and helped push my

knee back, and now that butt muscle is spasming like hell when I go to sit down.

The jerk, I've worked like hell since shortly after the op, to get the swelling down,

and the range of motion as far as I did get it.

"sorry" my knee doesn't fit with all the other knees...

That's pretty much how our session went. Young guy, brash, not paying attention, etc.

He's already fired.

Today, a friend called and said "what can I bring you for food"... and I joked

that I needed a hamburger, but the Wife was out at the flip house... and she brought

me a Wendy's burger, with coke and fries, and wouldn't let me pay for it....

And looked at my knee, and said "OMG..... your knee was that much trouble?"

Tour - I should have done it some years earlier, but life got a a bit complicated, and my knee wasn't

important. And, the insurance paying 80/20... but medicare and supplemental pay 100%..

it worked out. I already had an 11 and 3/4 railroad track scar from the reconstruction surgery...

They actually used that scar to make their incision. There was some cool, brilliant rational about that.

And Tiam, I've had that cleaning out... it's arthroscopic, and you can go home on crutches outpatient,

and a few days later. you're a happy camper. I already had all the cartilage gone, it was a bunch of

bone chips..

We always get references for the best surgeon months ahead of time. My surgeon is locally famous

for being the very best.. which is a great thing, since the knee provided them some major problems...

Thanks everybody, I hope everybody's surgeries go great. And Tour, hopefully you don't need surgery

for your shoulder. You're gonna need that shoulder bigtime, eh?

@westside-steve said:

Hey Steve, let me know when you're coming. You & I will limit our cruelty to "OL' TIN KNEE" who truly deserves it! BTW, he has been taking "liberal" doses of painkillers!

Mike

welcome back farmy Cal.

Damn glad to hear you're doing well! Sadly the joke about the titanium knee and being the terminator was already used. Since you have your new cyborg leg, feel free to put it up Billy Manziel's ass if you see him.

Welcome back, bud.

@tour2ma said:

But I fixed both by somehow royally fucking up my right shoulder over the holidays. The hip and knee don't seem near as bad now.

You went the Major Payne route; "A little something to take your mind off that pain".

@calfoxwc said:

And when I put full weight on my new knee, it feels amazing. Doesn't hurt.

The "why did I wait" is still pending?

Welcome back, cal...

My right hip has been an issue for years. It's adversely impacted my right knee.

But I fixed both by somehow royally fucking up my right shoulder over the holidays. The hip and knee don't seem near as bad now.

And that was my good shoulder...

And I keep meaning to stop down but I won't be a party to any cruelty to groundhogs.

WSS

Okay, I'm back ! Have a new titanium knee !

And, thank goodness for two kinds of painkillers.

My first day at physical therapy was hell. lol

I found out after getting back up to my room,

that my surgeon said afterwards... that after they

opened up my knee, they gasped ...it was a lot

worse than they thought. He told my Wife and a close friend,

that they find it hard to believe I had to have been in so much

serious pain, and never told anyone.

Right out of the gate, I got reprimanded. Truth is, I was used

to fighting to ignore it.

Something about a whole bunch of bone spurs, having to

drill holes for the cement becausee advanced severe

arthritis bone on bone density, etc. It took 3 hrs instead of 1-1 1/2 hrs.

But the staff at Aultman hospital were wonderful, back on the floor,

and I never knew when they did the dreaded epidural, the anesthesialogists

were great, talked to me at length before....

And the nurses were the most wonderful gals you'd ever want to meet,

even when they had to steady me in the bathroom the day after surgery.

This spring, I can't wait to have Canton Mike or Westside Steve over for an hour or two

of groundhog skeet.

This is actually the first day I could sit down at the computer table.

And when I put full weight on my new knee, it feels amazing. Doesn't hurt.

that I explain how I got past the 1.5 mi run.

So, I'll do it anyways, since we have to be at the hospital at 8:30. lol.

So, we ran the 1/4 mi, and 1/2, and 3/4... and the mile. My knee was getting the attention

of my friends in basic, especially Hec and Freddie. Hec was the son of parents from Mexico,

and surely was one of the fastest runners in our squadron.

And Freddie, was a young kid from a tough black neighborhood, not as big as me, whose Eddie Murphy sense of humor made everybody lol.

He could light up any room within hearing distance. He was awesome.

If I didn't know better, I'd think Freddie was Eddie Murphy's dad. Freddie stayed out of gangs

by being in the church choir, and being funny. He called me "Uncle Calfox" because I was a year older than he was.

When we ran the mile, those two speedsters stayed back with me, and I was loping along, putting

little weight on my swelled up, pain up to my eyeballs knee. They encouraged me for a couple of laps,

until they got yelled at for not really running, and I told em they should take off, and Thanks.

And, I made it.

Fast forward a week. There we were, the third flight of a bunch of flights, waiting to run the mile and a half, but still... my knee was killing me. I had been faking setting my right heel in while we were marching...about two weeks. And we have to run the mile and a half?

I was pissed - my knee was saying "you can't do it, man. nobody could" and my brain was saying

"I'm either going to finish this, or die right on this track, dammit".

And, then it happened. My TI's walked over to me, and I thought maybe I was going to get sent to the

hospital.... and they asked me how my knee was. I said, of course, "Sir, It's fine, Sir !".

And the TI who was fond of making me laugh while we were marching, so he could stop us, yell at me,

and make me do pushups, just like Gomer Pyle in the Marine Corps and Sgt Carter....

he leaned forward and said "Calfox, what did I say about you lying to me about that?" and gave me a grin

and shook his head and walked away.

And, our two TI's were looking at me from 10 yards away, and looked at my knee....

and walked across the concourse to the guy way up in the tower, who was running all the flights' starting times.

And, the TI who liked to make me laugh so he could yell at me and make me do pushups, walked all the way back..

came and stood in the middle of us, and quietly said:

"You rags listen up, any one of you screw this up - I will kill you...." and he whispered, "about face, forward harch"...

and we quietly, no heels setting in, ... marched away from the whole thing, and went back to our barracks.

and went and got anotther haircut, which was funny because we were already mostly bald......

and for a couple of years, we'd be sitting around in a group and basic would come up, and eventually, I'd ask

"You guys ever hear of a flight that didn't have to run that mile and a half? Some guy told me that, but I think

he was an idiot pulling my leg..."

And every time, they'd all get indignant and say that of course he was a damn liar, everybody had to run it,

it was required.

But, after all these years. I will tell you, our flight didn't. Two off the meanest TI's had my back.

Just don't tell anybody I said so, okay?

See ya. And I won't tell stories when I get back in a week or so.

Dammit. I have to get up in a half hour. lol.

@calfoxwc said:

I don't know whether to stay up late or go to bed early

stay up late>> when it comes to surgery personally i'd rather be tired and loopy than wide awake and anxious, if i had a choice.

good luck Cal, even though it's gonna go great and be very satisfying.

and this applies to any/everyone: Thank You So Very Much For Your Service.

downhill badly the last two and a half years....

My has been bone on bone for years, severe arthristis, and

complete lack of stability in the knee.

I appreciate all the good wishes, I get to the same say surgery place at 8:30, so

I have to go get a bunch of firewood and stack in the garage, watch the Browns

on record, since I nearly forgot to pick up my prescriptions, and we were babysitting

for a friend... I don't know whether to stay up late or go to bed early.

I know the physicians assistant that reviewed all the pre op stuff ..I asked him how long I'd

be in the hospital...a day/probably two... he just laughed and said "your knee? 2-3 at best."

If I'm not out by New Years eve, they're gonna think I'm Jason Bourne - I will just escape.

I wonder how many bedsheets it would take to reach the ground from the floor I'll be on...

dammit. lol. You folks take care, and remember, no funny posts, etc, I don't want to miss anything

this coming week. See ya'll.

My grandma got new knees at 75, then went on to live another 28 years.....and those knees were the 20 year models....HA!

@texasag1969 said:

Definitely hits home Ag. Then you see pro athletes under the freedoms some of you guys put your lives on the line for either going broke after they had 7-8 figure salaries or just not appreciating what their God-givens have set them up for in life. Yeah, it's gotta suck sporting a winning lottery ticket salary in one's dream job playing a sport. "Now they want me to study football, workout and stay out of trouble?" Yeah, imagine that kind of work week - especially in the 6-7 months without football games.

my best friend had a hip replacement 4 years ago and 2 days after the surgery he was in a physical rehab center walking around. 2 days later was at home. now you'd never know he had a prob even though he had a neck a back surgery and the hip replacement. the new technology is incredible (just don't be surprised when the hospital wants to kick you out the door like they do with women who have just given birth.............insurance doesn't want to pay for extended stays).

my girlfriend/wife had both knees done after ripping out all the muscles and tedons in both in an industrial accident over a decade ago. then they diagnosed here with early stages of MS. she's basically walking bone on bone and it's difficult to watch. i would've given up years ago and gone with the ol' hover round or private golf cart but she refuses. strong ass bitch.