The heartbreakers of the week. In the "what do I have to do to win?" department: Beanpot gave a helluva lockerroom speech and kicked his team into high gear. Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco teamed up for 39 points in the game against Green Bay. Marques Colston added an impressive 26 points. (

Heartbreaker #2: The only words from the Usual Suspects were "how did you win?" T's Jelly Donut responded: "Wow. Can you smell it?" I hope he's referring to the jelly donut. Browns Fans may be dismayed to learn that it was 19 points from Kellen Winslow Jr that helped tip the balance in the Donut's favor 84-82.

Bringin' home the Bacon!

In addition to DTBH, the other teams that remain undefeated in League One:

Ballantyne Buckeyes embarrassed Zombo's Brown Dogs 103-77.

Flug's Cardiac Kids downed Greenville Mayhem 85-74 and

Jumpin' Jack Flash handed alwAysLOsing their first loss 90-66.

Full 'o Beans League TWO:

Oreo became the first ever feline winner of a Browns Board Fantasy Football League game by defeating Bo and the Boz 86 -81. Bo, etc. were stung by the meager 2 points from Tom Brady. Yahoo! reports that the last time Brady completed less than 50 percent of his passes in a game was a Dec. 3, 2007. Oreo took victory in stride reiterating the team motto, "Don't let this sweet face fool you!" .

Viagra high scorer of the week goes to Beanpot for his 127-82 roasting of the Flying Turkeys. Bean's added Andre Johnson's 32 points to the same Carson Palmer/ Marques Colston totals as his League One squad to ground the Turkeys.

Dirty hands snagged the early lead in the League TWO by knocking off The Hammer 110-82. Tennessee's Chris Johnson with 45 points made the difference. The Hammer is now rummaging through the fantasy football garage to find a new set of tools to help work out their first win.

Double D must mean double digits. Drew Brees' 22 point lead Bermeck's KY Hicks to victory over the Double D's 77-66.

The bottom of the barrel:

ChooChoo's chugged to a 61-98 loss to Justin Hermouf to join the Flying Turkeys, The Hammer, and the Double D's at the bottom of League Two. Better luck next week!

Flugel's League THREE:

Calfox KosarDawgs 98 Kibbles & Vicks 63

(Cal's) KosarDawgs: Frank Gore 32, Peyton Manning 18, Donald Driver 18

(Darovich's) Kibbles & Vicks: Drew Brees 22, Ryan Longwell 10, Maurice Jones-Drew 9

Kibbles & Vicks entered this matchup thinking "All Dawgs go to Heaven" while Calfox's KosarDawgs greeted them with a gridironesque "Welcome to Hell." Even though one side added a slight Brees, Manning & Driver could not be cooled down. As fate would have it - the battle got really Gore-y.

Runn Uu OVer 80 Rice's Ryders 76

(John D's) Runn Uu OVer: Jay Cutler 16, Steve Smith 16, Jason Witten 13

(Jason's) Rice's Ryders: Marques Colston 26, Eli Manning 18, Braylon Edwards 12

Runn Uu OVer decided to make Jay Cutler and recivers named Smith and Witten the focal point of their game plan vrs Rice's Ryders. Just was was their plan? To Pass Uu OVer. They did. Rice's Ryders had a similar game plan but their 2 minute offense disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle. Luckily noone was injured and they're already thinking about week 3.

Believeland 82 Team DangeRuss 54

(Thaak's) Believeland: Adrian Peterson 15, Calvin Johnson 15, Reggie Bush 13

(Riff's) DangeRuss: Roddy White 15, Steven Jackson 11, Tony Romo 8

What do you get when you add a Peter-son + a John-son + a Jack-son to the same football field? My 3 Sons holding alot of fireworks on game day. Speaking of fireworks, Tony Romance was making passes at several Texas cuties in Jerry's billion dollar palace. However, these Giant football players kept intercepting them just to keep things from getting too DangeRuss. This would be another gameday in Believeland that would reach "happily ever after."

Koa Krew 82 Dot The i 82

(Majid's) Koa Krew: Byron Leftwich 19, Larry Fitzgerald 12, Vikings D 12

(Mark's) Dot The i: Ronnie Brown 21, Trent Edwards 15, Terrell Owens 12

Both sides came into this matchup thinking - "there's no way we're losing this football game." They were both right as neither side lost a tough fought battle. Unfortunately, neither side won either. Hold on - I think they're still playing as we speak. They are. Evidently, Ed Hochuli's is waiting to tell the first team that scores that this matchup actually ended Monday evening. Needless to say, stay freakin tuned...

Waiting for Noodles 99 Charlie's Angels 67

(Lister's) Waiting for Noodles: Vincent Jackson 21, DeAngelo Williams 14, Nate Kaeding 14

(Ozzie's) Charlie's Angels: Tony Gonzalez 17, Chad Ochocinco 16, Anquan Boldin 12

Looking at the team logo for Charlie's Angels - that photo of Charles Manson makes Courtney Love seem like the ideal cheerleader for this outfit. Good offensive football is all about finding the daylight and the "Hole." In prison they call this "The Longest Yard." Last weekend, what's left of Charlie's mind was not spent on waiting for freedom. Instead it was better exercised on Waiting for Noodles. Lucky for Charlie - he didn't know if it was Vincent Jackson or Vincent Van Gogh that halted the Mean Machine. This makes the casual fan wonder - is the Mean Machine ready for a sequel? Let's hope so because they're on the schedule all the way through to December.

Project Showtime 122 Flugelmaniacs 116

(Rudy's) Project Showtime: Chris Johnson 45, Dallas Clark 25, Joe Flacco 13

Flugelmaniacs: Andre Johnson 31, Marion Barber 18, Kurt Warner 16

This game was sponsored by Johnson and Johnson so they wanted to make sure a high entertainment value coincided with a large volume of viewers. Therefore, it only makes sense that the highest scorer in this game was a RB named Johnson while the 2nd highest scorer was a WR named Johnson. If that's not enough, these 2 teams combined to score 238 points with only 6 points seperating victory from defeat. Also worth noting - Andrew Dice Clay sang the National Anthem.

Standings

1. Project Showtime 2-0-0 197

2. Calfox KosarDawgs 2-0-0 196

3. Believeland 2-0-0 191

4. Koa Krew 1-0-1 191

5. kibbles and vicks 1-1-0 163

6. Waiting for Noodles 1-1-0 159

7. RunnUuOVer 1-1-0 128

8. Team DangeRuss 1-1-0 119

9. Dot the I 0-1-1 135

10. Flugelmaniacs 0-2-0 203

11. Rice's Ryders 0-2-0 144

12. Charlie's Angels 0-2-0 133

Don't touch that remote! we're just a couple of days away from the kickoff for week 3...

Heidi's League FOUR:

My Helmet's 2Tight: Nah, that helmet wasn't too tight at all! Drew Brees 22, Kellen Winslow and Willis McGahee both with 19 helped Helmet win over LCDawgfan13, 102-66. Top scorers for LCD: Adrian Peterson 15, John Kasay 10

Looks as though the Double D effect has spilled over into League FOUR: Vincent Jackson and Ronnie Brown both with 21 helped the Ballantyne Behemoths squash WPBDawgfan, 88-55.

Top scorers for WPBDDawgfan: Chad Ochocinco 16 and Kerry Collins 12

Doctors of Gridiron dissected their opponent with surgical precision: Donald Driver 18, Calvin Johnson and Lawrence Tynes both W/ 15 brought the final total to 97-84.

Outstanding performances for One Man Wolf Pac: Andre Johnson 31, Tony Gonzalez 17

Brownies top players: Steve Smith 16 and Roddy White 15

Brown'sFanInDallas: Chris Johnson 45 and Brett Farve 15 How can you lose with 45 points from one player? You can't this week. Brown'sFanInDallas takes it 98-70 over the Brownies.

WV Hoopies are wishing basketball season would start. Matt Ryan 20 and Marion Barber 18 gave it their all but Timugen's Tool kicked it 115-72.

Timugen's Tool high scorers: Marques Colston 26, Frank Gore 32

This weeks clash of the clearlynottitans:

FBrulz: Kurt Warner 16 and Larry Fitzgerald 12

BOHICA: Payton Manning 18 and Darren McFadden 11

Final score: FBrulz 64; BOHICA 58

When the Brownies are struggling, there's always Browns Board Fantasy Football! Thanks to all who read this!

Go Browns!