<![CDATA[The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice.]]>Look, friends. I'm not going to lie to you, it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. And you may ask how it could possibly get worse after today's stillbirth, and I maintain it certainly can. I mean, we could lay this egg against someone like the Bengals or Raiders or Chiefs, and that'll be really embarrassing. More embarrassing than this, I assure you. So before April 2010 when Randy Lerner whips it out and spooges directly in our collective face with "his" selection of Sam Bradford #1, we need to do something to at least semi-right this sinking ship. Because if we end up with the 1st pick, Lerner's 100% going QB (because he's a fcuking Retard), which means we'll be having this conversation (again) three years from now. And that my friends will SUCK BALLS.

In that case, what are we to do? How do we avoid this terrible situation? It's all-too-clear Mangini, Quinn, Anderson et al. have no interest in helping us avoid the dastardly #1 pick/face spooge. They're busy throwing picks and fining guys for "stealing" water. Who's left, then? Rogers? Right. Edwards? See Rogers. Jamal Lewis? See Tommy Vardell. Then WHO??? It has to then be The Football Gods, that's who. They can right any ship out there. Just ask the Cardinals. Their message board reportedly sacrificed a member (a Leinart "Fag") to the Football Gods early last season and subsequently made the Super Bowl. And they now demand a sacrifice from us, the loyal Browns Fans. That's unless you want to place your future in Mangini, Quinn, Anderson and Lerner's hands...

OK. I've proven to be WAAAAAAY too valuable a member/resource here, so it's clearly not going to be me (much to the chagrin of clowns like DieHard). Plus, this idea was born from my genius. Anyway, I'll be looking for volunteers. All you need to do is, in this very thread, post 1) How long you've been a Browns fan 2) Your first name 3) What city you reside and 4) a sentence or two that would convince me to choose you as the Football Gods' sacrificial lamb. Ideally, I'd like all applications by Thursday or Friday, so we can get the sacrifice in by the time the Bungles game rolls around.

And what's in it for you, the "sacrificial lamb" of the Browns Board? First, you'll absolutely live in infamy here (and everywhere Browns Fans reside, really) as the guy/gal who sacrificed his/her membership here for the betterment of the Browns. Also, you won't have to endure the drunken post-game whining from whiny Browns Board members.

We, the Browns, need you!

Please submit your applications below. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mike

(PS can some friendly mod sticky this??)

]]>https://brownsboard.com/topic/7195/the-football-gods-demand-a-sarcrifice.RSS for NodeThu, 01 Oct 2026 02:50:47 GMTMon, 28 Sep 2009 00:39:26 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:21:59 GMT]]>PS those things were given to me, I asked for NONE of it.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114755https://brownsboard.com/post/114755Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:21:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:14:46 GMT]]>I guess cleaning latrines for thirty years robbed DieHard of his sense of humor.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114744https://brownsboard.com/post/114744Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:14:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 09:01:55 GMT]]>

@.mz said:

Look, friends. I'm not going to lie to you, it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. And you may ask how it could possibly get worse after today's stillbirth, and I maintain it certainly can. I mean, we could lay this egg against someone like the Bengals or Raiders or Chiefs, and that'll be really embarrassing. More embarrassing than this, I assure you. So before April 2010 when Randy Lerner whips it out and spooges directly in our collective face with "his" selection of Sam Bradford #1, we need to do something to at least semi-right this sinking ship. Because if we end up with the 1st pick, Lerner's 100% going QB (because he's a fcuking Retard), which means we'll be having this conversation (again) three years from now. And that my friends will SUCK BALLS.

In that case, what are we to do? How do we avoid this terrible situation? It's all-too-clear Mangini, Quinn, Anderson et al. have no interest in helping us avoid the dastardly #1 pick/face spooge. They're busy throwing picks and fining guys for "stealing" water. Who's left, then? Rogers? Right. Edwards? See Rogers. Jamal Lewis? See Tommy Vardell. Then WHO??? It has to then be The Football Gods, that's who. They can right any ship out there. Just ask the Cardinals. Their message board reportedly sacrificed a member (a Leinart "Fag") to the Football Gods early last season and subsequently made the Super Bowl. And they now demand a sacrifice from us, the loyal Browns Fans. That's unless you want to place your future in Mangini, Quinn, Anderson and Lerner's hands...

OK. I've proven to be WAAAAAAY too valuable a member/resource here, so it's clearly not going to be me (much to the chagrin of REAL FANS like DieHard). Plus, this idea was born from my genius. Anyway, I'll be looking for volunteers. All you need to do is, in this very thread, post 1) How long you've been a Browns fan 2) Your first name 3) What city you reside and 4) a sentence or two that would convince me to choose you as the Football Gods' sacrificial lamb. Ideally, I'd like all applications by Thursday or Friday, so we can get the sacrifice in by the time the Bungles game rolls around.

And what's in it for you, the "sacrificial lamb" of the Browns Board? First, you'll absolutely live in infamy here (and everywhere Browns Fans reside, really) as the guy/gal who sacrificed his/her membership here for the betterment of the Browns. Also, you won't have to endure the drunken post-game whining from whiny Browns Board members.

We, the Browns, need you!

Please submit your applications below. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mike

(PS can some friendly mod sticky this??)

What a gay idea, look who came up with it. No surprise there. It would have to be someone who would actually honor their commitment, unlike the OP who cant live with out his post count and number of dashes below his name. ROFLMAO.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114555https://brownsboard.com/post/114555Mon, 28 Sep 2009 09:01:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 06:48:22 GMT]]>

@.mz said:

Perhaps you need to re-read the instructions, because you seem like a decent candidate..

Again...you must submit yourself (or else everyone would be submitting Lumbergh, and since he isn't even a Browns Fan the Gods will not look favorably upon his selection anyway).

You are correct about the intelligence part, however.

Well, can we dress up like Steeler and Raven fans and see if we can draw bad karma upon those teams with an unwilling sacrifice of DA, Lums and Quinn?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114542https://brownsboard.com/post/114542Mon, 28 Sep 2009 06:48:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:34:14 GMT]]>

@bonedawg said:

Don't we also need a lock of hair from Quinn's wavy mane?

YES!

Or a Derek Anderson size 45 shoe, if you prefer.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114504https://brownsboard.com/post/114504Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:34:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:37:56 GMT]]>Don't we also need a lock of hair from Quinn's wavy mane?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114468https://brownsboard.com/post/114468Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:37:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:13:50 GMT]]>

@thomas5737 said:

I believe the Gods would want the sacrificed to be thrown into the mouth of an active volcano, at least thats what I learned in history class...

Well......yeah. You know, I'll be playing Rip Torn's role in Beastmaster.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114440https://brownsboard.com/post/114440Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:13:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:11:44 GMT]]>Obviously mz the pussy found some good stuff to ingest in some fashion.

Here's an appropriate stand in pic for Anteater's application: aardvark1.jpg Yeah. Toss that in the volcano. Quick, before he sobers up.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114438https://brownsboard.com/post/114438Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:11:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:42:08 GMT]]>I believe the Gods would want the sacrificed to be thrown into the mouth of an active volcano, at least thats what I learned in history class... or maybe it was Gilligan's Island. Either way.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114404https://brownsboard.com/post/114404Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:42:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:08:14 GMT]]>

@inspecta said:

Man, we've reached new levels of desperation.....

Exactly.

Just remember, folks, the Cardinals went from obscurity to Super Bowl with a Sacrifice.

Now let's get these apps in.........

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114380https://brownsboard.com/post/114380Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:08:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:04:46 GMT]]>

@mr.-t said:

I thought they had to be a virgin?

Virgin .. cool? Where do I sign, man?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114377https://brownsboard.com/post/114377Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:04:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:02:58 GMT]]>

@jc said:

What kind of cake? Chocolate, white, yellow, marble? It's got to be some pretty damn good cake...maybe red velvet?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114376https://brownsboard.com/post/114376Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:02:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:51:29 GMT]]>

@.mz said:

OK, eternal infamy, Browns success and cake.

What kind of cake? Chocolate, white, yellow, marble? It's got to be some pretty damn good cake...maybe red velvet?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114368https://brownsboard.com/post/114368Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:51:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:51:16 GMT]]>

@mr.-t said:

I thought they had to be a virgin?

Well I assume ANTEATERS has never had sex with a WOMAN. Doesn't that count ??

; ~ )

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114366https://brownsboard.com/post/114366Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:51:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:28:25 GMT]]>I thought they had to be a virgin?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114344https://brownsboard.com/post/114344Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:28:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:14:32 GMT]]>

@.mz said:

Ladies/gents...I believe we have our first candidate, and it's a DOOZY.

In deference to our Faithful Leader, I'll let him defer his official application until tomorrow.

Pussy. Do it! Do it before he changes his mind!

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114329https://brownsboard.com/post/114329Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:14:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:03:19 GMT]]>

@atenears said:

Cool I'm in

Ladies/gents...I believe we have our first candidate, and it's a DOOZY.

In deference to our Faithful Leader, I'll let him defer his official application until tomorrow.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114315https://brownsboard.com/post/114315Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:03:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:01:31 GMT]]>

@.mz said:

OK, eternal infamy, Browns success and cake.

Cake? Cool I'm in ... I have the munchies anyhow....

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114311https://brownsboard.com/post/114311Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:01:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:00:33 GMT]]>

@blowe said:

What exactly does this sacrifice involve, and will there be cake?

OK, eternal infamy, Browns success and cake.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114309https://brownsboard.com/post/114309Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:00:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:59:34 GMT]]>Dude, no offense, but I'm too drunk to read that long post. Sounded too intense and official too.

Anyone have Cliff Notes?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114307https://brownsboard.com/post/114307Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:59:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:59:02 GMT]]>

@brownindian said:

Lets sacrifice .mz the pussy. To get the best result we need to sacrifice the most intelligent Browns fan.

Perhaps you need to re-read the instructions, because you seem like a decent candidate..

Again...you must submit yourself (or else everyone would be submitting Lumbergh, and since he isn't even a Browns Fan the Gods will not look favorably upon his selection anyway).

You are correct about the intelligence part, however.

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114305https://brownsboard.com/post/114305Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:59:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:56:08 GMT]]>What exactly does this sacrifice involve, and will there be cake?

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114301https://brownsboard.com/post/114301Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:56:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:57:49 GMT]]>

@danamal said:

I cant submit,

Good ,worse or total suckage,I am a Browns fan and I am used to the abuse, hey that could be a new T-shirt for the pro shop,

"taken abuse since 1964"

Cant leave, its like the car wreck you cant take your eyes off of.

Its worse than that its the car crash that happens every week like the movie groundhogs day and keeps reminding you that the expansion browns are not or never will be the real browns...i want out but have no place to go....hehehehehe

I will always be a browns fan but this is not the team i grew up watching nor is it owned by an interesting meddling fool i loved to hate instead its owned by the invisible man from new york..

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114298https://brownsboard.com/post/114298Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:57:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice. on Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:54:11 GMT]]>Take Ariens back and sacrifice HIM !!! We will be Better and the Curse will be lifted from CLeveland and we can have Good games again !!! LOL !

]]>https://brownsboard.com/post/114297https://brownsboard.com/post/114297Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:54:11 GMT