Gasoline Alley review
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Gasoline Alley
Saban Capitol Group
R. 97 min
Many years ago, a friend of mine was a manager at a company that was considering a name change. The name in question was to be Point Of Sale. They scrapped the idea after it dawned on them that the abbreviated name of the company would then be POS. I think that POS would be a much more appropriate title for GASOLINE ALLEY the latest collaboration between writer-director Edward Drake and washed-up action star Bruce Willis. Since I don't read reviews from others before I see a movie, I was under the mistaken impression that GASOLINE ALLEY might be a passable gratuitous violence action thriller to kill a couple of hours streaming on a snowy evening in Northeast Ohio. I think I’d been better off to put a lawn chair in the front yard and watch the cars drive by. If the name Bruce Willis on the placard caught your attention don't be fooled, he has about 10 minutes of airtime and his part is measured in syllables not actually lines. He also looks like he just woke up from a coma and his delivery is a bit like Joe Biden without a teleprompter. As a matter of fact, the entire cast reads their lines as if it's the first time they've ever seen them, or more likely just making them up as they go along. The actual star of the show is Devon Sawa (who?) as ex-cop turned tattoo artist Jimmy Jayne who is being framed for the murder of a hooker / pornstar, one of a few victims linked to the dirty movie/prostitution/drug industry in a sleazy part of Los Angeles. The actual police are either stupid or crooked or both, so Jimmy precedes to beat the killer's name out of a few of the porn weasels and then….. you guessed it. I suppose whatever they paid Willis for the bait and switch was worth it only because nobody would have blown the seven bucks on this turd had all the actors been on the same d, e, f, g whatever list as Sawa. Still, it pissed me off that his performance was worse than any of the other bums in this crew. I tried hard to find any kind of redeeming value (The R rating was for violence and F bombs) that would allow me give this one and F+, but I just couldn't.
F
WSS
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