Report: Dennis working on Lane Kiffin jokes

Timugen

Mangino in his early days:

Timugen

Timugen

@timugen said:
Mangino in his early days:

dencyguy

@riffer-x said:
Mangino is a very fat man and I don't know how he garners respect being that ridiculously obese.
How do you get kids to work hard?

might help to explain why his kids listen to him. The blog that I originally found the clip on had two great responses from viewers:

1) "If Mangino were calling me a hot dog, I would want to start backing away as quickly as possible."

and, my personal favorite,

2) "So that's what it's like to get chewed out by Grimace."

Dennis

Baby Mangino = Genius

Riffer X

Oh good lord, this thread is too damn funny.

Mangino is a very, very fat man.

dencyguy

I love Google Live search. As soon as you type in "mark mang..." you get the most popular searches: Mark Mangino Weight, Mark Mangino Baby, Mark Mangino Jokes, Mark Mangino Fat, etc.

Not surprisingly, the best Mangino jokes come from Big 12 message boards, many of which have threads dedicated to Mangino jokes. Here are some of the ones I liked best, from a very short look-see:

>>Mangino walks into a 7-11 for directions.

He asks, "How do I get to 435?"

7-11 guy answers, "plenty of exercise and a lot of water."

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He also needs to be careful when rolling over in bed so he don't burn his arse on the lightbulb.

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Pound for pound, Mark Mangino is the best three coaches in college football.

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Mangino is so fat....his stretch marks look like a print out from mapquest

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Mangino is so fat, clowns pour out when he craps. <<

But, all things considered, he hasn't done badly for himself when it came to landing a wife:

I mean, she's not Lane Kiffin's wife:

...but then again, you can't get picky when you need to brace yourself on the couch for your family photo.

Dennis

Wow. Coach Lunch Money did pretty well for himself.

It must have taken a lot of "that guy" behavior to land such a beautiful bride.

Timugen

All you need is grub....

dencyguy

I kind of feel guilty resurrecting this thread because, as a fat guy myself...

On the other hand, there are things that can't be passed up. If you look at Vols message boards, you'll still find Phil Fulmer-Krispy Kreme jokes popping up all the time, which makes me wonder why Krispy Kreme? That was the reference when RAC was the coach, and given Mangini's supple curves, I'm sure it will pop up again on the main board pretty soon. I feel obligated to point out that the man wasn't that fat. I mean, he wasn't the picture of health by any means, but to put him in the same conversation as Mark Mangino, Ralph Friedgen, that guy from Toledo, etc., is just way off-base. He's your fat uncle, not the guy from the Discovery Channel show where they have to knock out the wall to get him to the bariatric clinic.

And he's not Wayne Bolt, the current football program coordinator (or some such nonsense) at Auburn, former DC at Iowa State and a few other places:

Not a thin man, but not Mangino-esque, either. Actually, that's Bolt after gastric bypass. Here's before:

Mike Wilbon once argued that one of the reasons that it took so long for RAC and Charlie Weis to get head coaching shots is that, as fat old guys, they didn't really appeal to decision makers who wanted a face for their team. One might argue that RAC was at least cuddly, which could make younger fans feel at ease, and academics-driven Notre Dame got Weis, who kind of looks like Harold Bloom with a flat top (Bloom being a noted literary scholar who is also something of a fat tub himself). Nevertheless, the point is well-taken, and it makes it something of a miracle that Bolt was able to get pretty high-profile jobs for a long time.

Dennis