The Yinzometer: A Pittsburgh Stupidity Gauge
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The Yinzometer: A Pittsburgh Stupidity Gauge
To understand the Yinzometer (pronounced yins-ah-mit-er), one must first understand a few things about Pittsburgh and it's inbred people. The Pittsburgh way of life and its unique culture have been nurtured by the common notion among people of the steel city that there still exists a challenging geographical isolation because of Pittsburgh's mountainous location. Not one to accept change, people of Pittsburgh scoff at modern transportation, therefore many have never left Allegheny County. Over many years, this isolation has transformed Pittsburgh into a unique biosphere of sociologic phenomena unlike any that exists in America. Many have tried to understand them however, none have succeeded. The only people that will ever truly understand the nuances of the Pittsburgh culture, are the people themselves...the 'Yinzers'.
So, what the heck is 'Yinz' anyway?
'Yinz', also seen written as 'You-ins' or 'Yuns' and is still used today in Pittsburgh. As a result of the distinct denial that life exists outside of Allegheny County and the popular belief among Pittsburghers that it's better if you procreate with others like you, a unique language has evolved in the Pittsburgh area. One of these phrases, 'Yinz' is used among the natives to denote a specific group of people, as in: "Hey, Yinz guys goin'' dahn-tahn 'n-dat?" Which loosely translates in popular English to: "Hello friends. Are you traveling to Downtown Pittsburgh?"
Okay, I get it. They say Yinz, but what is a Yinzer?
As Pittsburgh has grown, resistance to entry from foreigners or people not born in the 'Burgh, has waned. This has happened despite many civic efforts to thwart immigration, which has even included the complete dismantling of commercial enterprise in the Downtown area. Therefore, much to the chagrin of the Yinzers, there are now many people who live here who were not born here. In fact, there has been a strong underground interbreeding. Because of this, the Pittsburgh subculture, complete with their own language that is dubbed "Pittsburghese", has now come to light to many outsiders. The language has now been studied and those who speak it have been termed 'Yinzers'. However, because of a growing understanding of the culture, it is now known that it is not the language alone that separates the natives from popular American culture.
What do you mean, there is more than the language difference?
Absolutely. The word "Yinzer" is now used to describe many of the cultural differences that have come to light. For example, a Yinzer always wears a Steeler T-shirt and hat on backwards, even to the symphony. A Yinzer will always live in the 70's, even in 2008. A Yinzer will wear acid wash jeans and white hi-tops with the tongue of the shoes sticking out, even though that look went out in 1982. Yinzer diet food includes French fries on salad. A Yinzer will think the Steelers are going to the Super Bowl after every win of even the slimmest margin. A Yinzer over estimates every travel distance, and therefore will not travel. They commonly think Cleveland is 5 hours away. The Yinzer that says Cleveland sucks, has never been there.
Fine, then what does the Yinzometer actually measure?
Because of the fluctuations in feelings about the Steelers and the ability of the followers of the team to jump on and off of the bandwagon at any time, the level of 'Yinzerness' in the city tends to wax and wane. With the help of Jeff Sagarin's rating system which uses a complex formula comprised of many variables, the level of Yinzerness has become a quantifiable phenomena. Using ratios which are generated from data such as visable 'One for the Thumb' T-shirts, hats on backwards, uses of the word Yins, references to the 'Stillers', dropping of prepositions (car needs cleaned) , rhetoric about the Steel Curtain, chairs saving parking spaces, 'Pittsburgh lefts' (when they let one car turn in front of you at a traffic light), pierogie sales, Steeler logo tattoos, failure to turn right on red legally, Iron City sales, frequency of Light Up Nights and an increase in fireworks frequency topping one per week.
These and other variables comprise the Yinzometer. With anywhere from 0-100% possible, there is wide fluctuation. Average Yinzer values for football season is 75% and after football season it hovers around 40-50%. Bank on levels greater than 85% if the Steelers make the playoffs. As the level rises, transplanted Clevelanders and other non-Pittsburgh born people living here begin to question why they haven't left.
Yinzometer Implications for Clevelander or Other Non-Native Living Here:
Quite tolerable. Levels rarely achieved. Falsely believe and even quote that "Most Livable City" crap to friends. Make regrettable favorable comparisons to Cleveland or other real cities.
20-40% Tolerable, but less so then before. Visit to Chicago quickly reminds you that you live in Pittsburgh.
40-60% Begin to look at want ads. Getting resume in order. Begin to correct strangers' grammar in an impossible crusade to educate the entire city.
60-80% Making calls, logging onto HotJobs.com daily. Willing to take a pay cut.
80-90% Leaving every weekend on job hunt. House now up for sale. No longer believe that the cost of living in 'Burgh justifies tolerating the stupidity.
90-95% Psychiatric consultation is required. Violent outbursts toward people offering you a 'jitney' at Giant Eagle.
95-100% Rare survival rate for non-native. Double Zoloft and take your chances. Stay at parents house until football season blows over. Pray for a Steeler loss.
http://www.pittsburghbrownsbackers.com/Yinzometer.htm
Below is there inbred children
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Browns fans are the most relentless losers I have ever seen. Pittsbrugh is home to the largest educational building in the western hemisphere of the earth. Pitt's Learning Cathedral is one of the top schools in North America for foreign cultures and languages. Its one of the most popular North American colleges for Europeans to come to for cultural learning and languages.
Yeah, I expect you to respond with some stupid redneck comment becuase you guys on here are extremely stuborn.(You won't accept we are the most livable city, so much for us all being dumb, annoying rednecks...) We don't expect you guys to turn into Steeler fans or even give us praise for great accomplishments. We just expect you to have enough class to respect our fans and our city.
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The Yinzometer: A Pittsburgh Stupidity Gauge
Is this a Joke...or are you REALLY this dumb ?
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I must have lost about 15 IQ points reading that. Mr.T, you owe me!
We just expect you to have enogh class to respect our fans and our city.
Expectations kill.
-Al
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This boards COMPLETE obsession with all things Pittsburgh and Steelers just acts as further proof of complete total OWNAGE of Pittsburgh over Cleveland!
Enjoy watching our 7th SB appearance to your zero.... At least you can root against us. Oh, and P.S. any NFL fan that would willingly sport the avatar of another franchise is a total sell-out flaming faggot loser with no pride in his own team. Nice to see you are all Cardinals fans now, bandwagon jumping losers!
P.S. eat shit Stain, Ben Roethlisberger is going for Lombardi trophy #2!!!! (but Charlie Frye is still the REAL QB from the MAc!)
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This boards COMPLETE obsession with all things Pittsburgh and Steelers just acts as further proof of complete total OWNAGE of Pittsburgh over Cleveland!
Enjoy watching our 7th SB appearance to your zero.... At least you can root against us. Oh, and P.S. any NFL fan that would willingly sport the avatar of another franchise is a total sell-out flaming faggot loser with no pride in his own team. Nice to see you are all Cardinals fans now, bandwagon jumping losers!
P.S. eat shit Stain, Ben Roethlisberger is going for Lombardi trophy #2!!!! (but Charlie Frye is still the REAL QB from the MAc!)
This boards COMPLETE obsession with all things Pittsburgh and Steelers just acts as further proof of complete total OWNAGE of Pittsburgh over Cleveland!
Enjoy watching our 7th SB appearance to your zero.... At least you can root against us. Oh, and P.S. any NFL fan that would willingly sport the avatar of another franchise is a total sell-out flaming faggot loser with no pride in his own team. Nice to see you are all Cardinals fans now, bandwagon jumping losers!
P.S. eat shit Stain, Ben Roethlisberger is going for Lombardi trophy #2!!!! (but Charlie Frye is still the REAL QB from the MAc!)
Didn't you get the memo? If it wasn't for steroids and the Rooney's paying people off the Steelers franchise would still be searching for its first ever win and the Browns would be an elite team.
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"Browns fans are the most relentless losers I have ever seen. Pittsbrugh is home to the largest educational building in the western hemisphere of the earth. Pitt's Learning Cathedral is one of the top schools in North America for foreign vultures and languages. Its one of the most popular North American colleges for Europeans to come to for culturallearning and languages.
Yeah, I expect you to respond with some stupid redneck comment becuase you guys on here are extremely stuborn.(You won't accept we are the most livable city, so much for us all being dumb, annoying rednecks...) We don't expect you guys to turn into Steeler fans or even give us praise for great accomplishments. We just expect you to have enough class to respect our fans and our city."
Its a large building so it must be good!
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"Browns fans are the most relentless losers I have ever seen. Pittsbrugh is home to the largest educational building in the western hemisphere of the earth. Pitt's Learning Cathedral is one of the top schools in North America for foreign vultures and languages. Its one of the most popular North American colleges for Europeans to come to for culturallearning and languages.
Yeah, I expect you to respond with some stupid redneck comment becuase you guys on here are extremely stuborn.(You won't accept we are the most livable city, so much for us all being dumb, annoying rednecks...) We don't expect you guys to turn into Steeler fans or even give us praise for great accomplishments. We just expect you to have enough class to respect our fans and our city."
Its a large building so it must be good!
"Browns fans are the most relentless losers I have ever seen. Pittsbrugh is home to the largest educational building in the western hemisphere of the earth. Pitt's Learning Cathedral is one of the top schools in North America for foreign vultures and languages. Its one of the most popular North American colleges for Europeans to come to for culturallearning and languages.
Yeah, I expect you to respond with some stupid redneck comment becuase you guys on here are extremely stuborn.(You won't accept we are the most livable city, so much for us all being dumb, annoying rednecks...) We don't expect you guys to turn into Steeler fans or even give us praise for great accomplishments. We just expect you to have enough class to respect our fans and our city."
Its a large building so it must be good!
If you would read you could have understood that buiding size wasn't a reason it is such a prestige school. It is an interesting fact though.
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First off I read just fine, second, that seemed to be the main part of your post that it had the largest educational building in the western hemisphere. You did not lead off with it is one of the top schools in North America with the largest building you lead off with the fact about the building.
So next time you tell someone to learn to read, learn how to structure your facts properly so that the point you are trying to convey jumps out at the reader rather then just a random unimportant fact.
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I say 15 YRS old
and he diffenatly has a mullet....
.......and so does his mom
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While I definitely appreciate a good, witty stab at Stiller fans, this one ranks on the Smack-O-meter as:
Smack-O-Meter:
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2. <<=======
1.
Weak.
Regards
... an'at
.
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Very funny indeed.
Too bad our Steelers guests have no sense of humor at all. These guys are the "it's-funny-only-when-I-laugh" type.
They write a lot on this forum. They know a lot of jokes about us but can't take any.
It must be all those rings they wear (hope it's not a side effect of steroids).
Take it easy guys!
If we can smile down here you should be fairly happier up there...
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This boards COMPLETE obsession with all things Pittsburgh and Steelers just acts as further proof of complete total OWNAGE of Pittsburgh over Cleveland!
Enjoy watching our 7th SB appearance to your zero.... At least you can root against us. Oh, and P.S. any NFL fan that would willingly sport the avatar of another franchise is a total sell-out flaming faggot loser with no pride in his own team. Nice to see you are all Cardinals fans now, bandwagon jumping losers!
P.S. eat shit Stain, Ben Roethlisberger is going for Lombardi trophy #2!!!! (but Charlie Frye is still the REAL QB from the MAc!)
This boards COMPLETE obsession with all things Pittsburgh and Steelers just acts as further proof of complete total OWNAGE of Pittsburgh over Cleveland!
Enjoy watching our 7th SB appearance to your zero.... At least you can root against us. Oh, and P.S. any NFL fan that would willingly sport the avatar of another franchise is a total sell-out flaming faggot loser with no pride in his own team. Nice to see you are all Cardinals fans now, bandwagon jumping losers!
P.S. eat shit Stain, Ben Roethlisberger is going for Lombardi trophy #2!!!! (but Charlie Frye is still the REAL QB from the MAc!)
Says Semenback...
... on the BROWNS BOARD.
Nice Logic Semenback.
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"Browns fans are the most relentless losers I have ever seen. Pittsbrugh is home to the largest educational building in the western hemisphere of the earth. Pitt's Learning Cathedral is one of the top schools in North America for foreign vultures and languages. Its one of the most popular North American colleges for Europeans to come to for culturallearning and languages.
Yeah, I expect you to respond with some stupid redneck comment becuase you guys on here are extremely stuborn.(You won't accept we are the most livable city, so much for us all being dumb, annoying rednecks...) We don't expect you guys to turn into Steeler fans or even give us praise for great accomplishments. We just expect you to have enough class to respect our fans and our city."
Its a large building so it must be good!
Its a large building so it must be good!
Typical Squeeler logic.
Just like that of a 3 year old.
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While I definitely appreciate a good, witty stab at Stiller fans, this one ranks on the Smack-O-meter as:
Smack-O-Meter:
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2. <<=======
1.
Weak.
Regards
... an'at
.
Steeler SChuck said:
While I definitely appreciate a good, witty stab at Stiller fans, I am flaming gay. I, Squeeler Suck, rate on the flamer meter as:Flamer-Meter:
10. <<=======
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
I'm on fire..
Regards
... an'at
.
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Its a large building so it must be good!
Typical Squeeler logic.
Just like that of a 3 year old.
Typical Squeeler logic.
Just like that of a 3 year old.
Except that was posted by a Browns fan. Thats what HE believes. Typical Browns logic might I say?
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Typical Squeeler logic.
Just like that of a 3 year old.
Except that was posted by a Browns fan. Thats what HE believes. Typical Browns logic might I say?
Except that was posted by a Browns fan. Thats what HE believes. Typical Browns logic might I say?
Right... ok... whatever you say.
Semenback is no Browns fan....
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