WOOF WOOF: Week Thirteen
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It's not triskaidekaphobia that has kept me from posting this week, nor is it Zombo's blather about guarantees. I suppose some people have been imagining me prostrate, suffering from some massively disgusting ailment. Actually, I've been having lots of fun with friends and co-workers. Trivia night with my friends was moved to a new time and location so my window of opportunity for writing my reports shifted and holiday demands filled the next available space. Ironically, it's a persistent cough and laryngitis that have kicked me home for some rest that allow me to make a quick report today.
Beanpot's League:
Zombo boasted: "I GUARANTEE that we will put an end to the Mayhem's undefeated streak." Uncharacteristically weak performances from Denver's Kyle Orton (0) and Eddie Royal (2) made his fantasy come true. In response to the boast, Mayhem's GM smacked back: "I guarantee that Greenville Mayhem will be playing in the Championship round of the playoffs while Zombo is either futzing around in the "consolation" games or stuck on the sidelines amusing himself. Time, and Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi will tell. Clearly, Mayhem has had a spectacularly successful season even after the loss of starting QB Tony Romo. We plan to give the remaining games our best and are pleased to have had many outstanding accomplisments this season." Zombo's WildDawgs 85, GREENville Mayhem 73.
Mayhem is the only team in this league guaranteed a playoff spot so a bloodbath may be in the making this weekend. Zombo, Ballantyne Buckeyes, and Beanpot have dealt the first blows in Thursday night play.
Beanpot rode the wave of points from Tom Brady (30) and Arian Foster (20) to knock back Dot the I, who is still in contention for a championship berth. Beanpot's team was projected to post 110 points with double-digits predicted for every player. The win may have been satisfying but the point total was oddly disconcerting. Beans 83, Dot 61. Taking no chances, Beanpot is finishing strong, having won 8 games in a row and has already elicited inspired play from Chris Johnson (26) in Thursday night play for Week 14.
The Usual Suspects, also vying for a place in the Championship round, kicked some serious buttocks. LeSean McCoy (27) and Michael Vick (25) helped deliver a roundhouse punch to last place Insert Clever Name who remains down for the count. Suspects 117 points along with the Viagra and Toyota trophies, Insert Clever Name 51. The Suspects are heavily favored in their Week 14 matchup against T's Jelly Donuts.
Calfox was smug in advance of the week 13 kickoffs, "Darnit, Rich, I could win bigger if McCoy could play. GGG" Since Colt McCoy is still out for the Browns, Sam Bradford was forced to start for the KosarDawgs. Bradford (1) and several other players failed to deliver. A stunned CalfoxKosarDawgs were smacked down by Ballantyne Buckeyes in a 57-78 upset. Coach and GM for the Dawgs responded to the loss, "Well, hey. I could have gotten more points with Delhomme. You win, I think, Moriarty !@@" Calfox faces Dot the I this weekend in an attempt to cling to a spot at the top of the league.
Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi capitalized on the outstanding play of Reggie Wayne (33) to squash the Jelly Donuts 91-73. In response to the messy loss, the GM of T's Donuts cleaned house sending 5 players to the waiver wire. There was no word on the future of T's head coach who was last seen scarfing seasonal favorite pumpkin spice muffins. Massaquoi, clinging to faint hopes of a championship run, faces an arrogant and resurgent Zombo in the final week of the regular season. Zombo currently leads the Week 14 matchup 13-11.
NavDawg's Browns put up a brave attempt to snag one more victory. Sidney Rice contributed an impressive 24 points and Anquan Boldin (18) piled on the points for NavDawg. Sadly, for the Browns, Green Bay had a great week, giving the W to Huskymania. Greg Jennings (26) and Aaron Rodgers (25) pushed 'Mania into contention for one of the consolation round berths. Huskymania 98, NavDawg 84. The two teams face Greenville Mayhem and Beanpot in this week's action.
Oreo's League
The contenders for the Championship have been decided: DD's at 10-2-1 had already clinched a spot. Joining DD's are Kentucky Barnburner, Beanpot and Choo Choo's. The consolation round remains up for grabs with most of the league still in contention. The only team guaranteed to be sittin' on the sidelines is the 1-12-0 Bronx Browns who, oddly, are favored to win this week against dirty hands.
Week 13 action found Lambdo's Air Show, the latest team to abuse the charming and lovable kitty, Oreo, gloating with a diabolical laugh. "Oreo - more like SNORE-eo. Putting the cat's season to permanent sleep this week." Oreo began picketing along with other members of the AAAOAFL, Animals Against the Abuse of Animals in Fantasy Leagues (also known as "awful") to assure better treatment in future seasons. Lambdo 119, Oreo the Precious 78. Oreo is evenly matched with The Hammer this week. Fur is likely to fly in the a battle that could mean the end of the season for one of the teams. The evil Lambdo, toting a Viagra award, faces Kamac 19, who's Toyota trophy winning team is favored and ready to pounce.
Beanpot grabbed a rope and pulled his team into Championship contention by knocking off the Kentucky Barn Burners. If the standings stay the same after the final week, Beans and the Barn Burners will face each other again in the semifinal round of the playoffs. Tom Brady (30) and Adrian Peterson (26) lead Beanpot's team to victory. The BarnBurners, who were favored to win, experience a pre-playoff slump. Beans 107, Kentucky BB's 63.
Bronx Browns registered -1 from Darren Sproles and the Jets Defense, handing a win and the playoffs to Choo Choo's. Bronx Browns 64, Choo Choo's 103.
Kamac didn't even have to try hard to win against the team that had the low score of the week. Only 35 points were scored by dirty hands who started Frank Gore, out for the season with a fractured hip. Brett Favre (-2) and Keiland Williams (1) prevented the dirty hands from reaching the 40 mark. Kamac's 83 points won in a walk.
Another upset occurred when The Hammer and hammertime pounded one another in action with playoff consolation round implications. 33 points from Reggie Wayne made the difference for hammertime who pried out the win. hammertime 86, The Hammer 76.
DD's, may have been determined to retain the top seed in Championship play, but barely squeaked by Ben There Raped That, 62-56. Both teams suffered from the blah's with Dwayne Bowe (0) receiving recognition as worst of the worst. DD's lead hammertime 13-11 after the Thursday night game. Ben There Raped That trails Kentuck Bare Burners 25-zip.
In other Thursday night action, Beanpot leads the slightly favored Choo Choo's 30-18.
Good Luck to everyone in the final week of regular season play!! May the best cat win!
The Heidi Report
There was some shake up action this week in League 3. Cleveland Steamers was de-throned and lost his season long 1st place spot to Rich and his Ballantyne Bruisers. Cleveland Steamers fell to #2 while My Helmet's 2Tight fell to #3 after taunting from their opponent RunninUover "I'm looking to take another giant down before this dead dog lays down." Ouch, That hurt my feelings was Helmet's reply. And fatherof3 is at the #4 spot and rounding out the top 5 is the previously mentioned RunninUover.
Elsewhere around the league, Tecmo Bo beat Brownies by a score of 100-58. Top scorers were Tecmo Bo: Greg Jennings 26, Anquan Boldin 18 and for Brownies, Vernon Davis 18 and Donald Driver 14.
The Toyota Greatest Victor award this week goes to stewartcj1 who had a +69 point win over lets go browns with a score of 84-15. Their top scorers were, for stewartcj1: Adrian Peterson 26, Terrell Owens 15 and for lets go browns they are Rob Bironas 6 and Chris Johnson 5.
The surprise win of the week that dropped Cleveland Steamers down to #2 goes to ImisstheKosarDays who won with a score of 95-82. Their Top scorers were ImisstheKosarDays: Tom Brady 30 and Matt Forte 14. Cleveland Steamers: Arian Foster 20, Wes Welker 18. I'm sure Cleveland Steamers will make every effort in week 14 to reclaim his throne.
why cant we win got a beloved victory over Nw220. Although Nw220 has more wins than why cant we win, he now has a 2 game lose streak so why cant we win get the win with a big gap in points 97-45. I hope this will make why cant we win happy and keep reading about other teams and Nw220 will not give up. Their Top scorers are, Nw220: Marques Colston 13 and Payton Manning with 11. why cant we win: Reggie Wayne 33 and Michael Vick 25.
Ballantyne Bruisers got the win over fatherof3 in week 13 with a score of 104-71 and jumped 2 places in the standings and I can only assume he will fight tooth and nail to stay there through the playoffs. The Top scorers for these teams are, for Ballantyne Bruisers: Aaron Rodgers 25 and LeSean McCoy 27. For fatherof3, Chad Ochocinco, Payton Hillis and Michael Turner with a 3 way tie of 11.
RunninUover got the better of My Helmet's 2Tight this past week and easily won with a score of 81-57. The threat of "I'm looking to take another giant down before this dead dog lays down." got some respect from the higher ranking Helmet because RunninUover is fighting until the end and knows that every game counts and matter one way or another throughout a league. Their Top scorers are as follows, for RunninUover: Cedric Benson 17 and Steven Jackson 13. For My Helmet's 2Tight: Maurice Jones-Drew and Calvin Johnson both with 13.
I wanna commend the managers that have stuck with and paid attention every week to their rosters and wanna remind everyone to keep playing hard because as seen in the rattling of sabers this week, things can change in a heartbeat so whether you have a playoff spot or not, play hard till it's over and ya can't play no more.
The Great Zomboni
In League 4 the playoff race is pretty clear cut:
Mr. Freeze's Snowmen, 10-3, Team Inglewood Jack, 9-4, and Bermeck's KY Hicks, 9-4, are in.
Polk High, 8-5, and Big Bad Dawgs, 7-5-1, are playing each other this week for the fourth and final spot in what amounts to a playoff game. BBD jumped out to a quick 24-11 lead Thursday night when Pierre Garcon scored 24 to teammate Reggie Wayne's 11. but there is a lot of football left to be played as both guys have 7 starters left. Should be a FANtastic finish.
Everybody else sucks.
Woof Woof, Kathy http://cognitivemanifesto.com/ http://www.skadden.com/index.cfm?contentID=49&officeID=9 Bendix ESP -
At first I didn't know what a fear of number thirteen had to do with anything, then my snow covered brain reminded me this was the week 13 report lol and got the reference. I know I thought you were busy as I can well understand and I hoped you were feeling okay, I don't think I quite had you laying prostrate, suffering from some massively disgusting ailment. That's a good one though
sounds greusome lol. Was just hoping you weren't under the weather.Glad you had lots of fun and now drink lots of hot tea and soup so you're ready for the next game night. And don't feel like you need to explain why you hadn't posted yet, like you told me, we have lives and things come up. And imo, having fun with friends sounds great!
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It is still Kathy's World in Beanpot's League One this season and we all just live in it.
The GREENville Mayhem went undefeated until week 13 and her Teams average margin of victory for the whole season was almost 18 points per game.
Congratulations Kathy
Also here are the standings for the teams still potentially qualifying for a playoff spot to vie with the Mayhem
-------------------------------------- W-L-T PCT Pts 4 Streak
*1. GREENville Mayhem-- 12-1-0 .923 1165 L-1
2. Beanpot----------------------- 9-4-0 .692 1273 W-8
3.The Usual Suspects------- 8-5-0 .615 1227 W-1
4. Dot The I---------------------- 8-5-0 .615 1177 L-1
5.Calfox KosarDawgs-------- 7-4-2 .615 1089 L-1
6.TexChainsawMassaquoi- 7-6-0 538 1055 W-2
1st Playoff Tiebreaker is total points
* Clinched Playoff Spot
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It is still Kathy's World in Beanpot's League One this season and we all just live in it.
The GREENville Mayhem went undefeated until week 13 and her Teams average margin of victory for the whole season was almost 18 points per game.
Congratulations Kathy
Also here are the standings for the teams still potentially qualifying for a playoff spot to vie with the Mayhem
-------------------------------------- W-L-T PCT Pts 4 Streak
*1. GREENville Mayhem-- 12-1-0 .923 1165 L-1
2. Beanpot----------------------- 9-4-0 .692 1273 W-8
3.The Usual Suspects------- 8-5-0 .615 1227 W-1
4. Dot The I---------------------- 8-5-0 .615 1177 L-1
5.Calfox KosarDawgs-------- 7-4-2 .615 1089 L-1
6.TexChainsawMassaquoi- 7-6-0 538 1055 W-2
1st Playoff Tiebreaker is total points
* Clinched Playoff Spot
It is still Kathy's World in Beanpot's League One this season and we all just live in it.
The GREENville Mayhem went undefeated until week 13 and her Teams average margin of victory for the whole season was almost 18 points per game.
Congratulations Kathy
Also here are the standings for the teams still potentially qualifying for a playoff spot to vie with the Mayhem
-------------------------------------- W-L-T PCT Pts 4 Streak
*1. GREENville Mayhem-- 12-1-0 .923 1165 L-1
2. Beanpot----------------------- 9-4-0 .692 1273 W-8
3.The Usual Suspects------- 8-5-0 .615 1227 W-1
4. Dot The I---------------------- 8-5-0 .615 1177 L-1
5.Calfox KosarDawgs-------- 7-4-2 .615 1089 L-1
6.TexChainsawMassaquoi- 7-6-0 538 1055 W-2
1st Playoff Tiebreaker is total points
* Clinched Playoff Spot
Thank you for that Playoff info John. Good job everyone. And way to go Kathy, show 'em how it's done.
In League 3, the teams clinched their spots a week ago. They are as follows:
1) Ballantyne Bruisers
2)Cleveland Steamers
3) My Helmet's 2Tight
4) fatherof3
Congratulations to you guys. How I managed to grab a spot is beyond me. Maybe it's a Festivus miracle?
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congrats to everyone that clinched a playoff spot already im fighting for the last spot need a win this week tho its kinda like my record is actually following how the browns are doing if i win this week i still have a chance
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Andre was one of my fewer intelligent picks, Mark, as opposed to those that weren't so much.
OTH, we go vs the Mayhem. Not good. @@ LOL
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Andre was one of my fewer intelligent picks, Mark, as opposed to those that weren't so much.
OTH, we go vs the Mayhem. Not good. @@ LOL
Andre was one of my fewer intelligent picks, Mark, as opposed to those that weren't so much.
OTH, we go vs the Mayhem. Not good. @@ LOL
Cal since my team is out of the playoffs and your team is in................and my Team is better let's trade owners
that would be cool............
I would be you and you would be me.............
and indeed you could have a better chance to win evertin my friend
I think this is a win win scenario..........you win and do not have to suffer a really pyschological mind wrecking playoff defeat
I see nothing in the rules that prohibits owners from trading teams
It is simple I trade ownership with you and you get my team and I get your team.......
boom done and YOU win my friend
It is in the bylaws replacing owners and the commish can do it...........all you have do is request to be replaced and me too.............life is fun in the slow lane
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Hmm. Let me think about that....
except if I were you, Rich, and you were me, hey pal, it would warp both our minds...LOL.
OTH, my team losing to the vaunted, butt kickin Mayhem with it not being my fault is kinda tempting....
but, I told my team I wasn't going to quit on them, come wins, losses, and Mayhem butt kickin.
crap. Do we believe in miracles? (maybe...@@)
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Hmm. Let me think about that....
except if I were you, Rich, and you were me, hey pal, it would warp both our minds...LOL.
OTH, my team losing to the vaunted, butt kickin Mayhem with it not being my fault is kinda tempting....
but, I told my team I wasn't going to quit on them, come wins, losses, and Mayhem butt kickin.
crap. Do we believe in miracles? (maybe...@@)
Hmm. Let me think about that....
except if I were you, Rich, and you were me, hey pal, it would warp both our minds...LOL.
OTH, my team losing to the vaunted, butt kickin Mayhem with it not being my fault is kinda tempting....
but, I told my team I wasn't going to quit on them, come wins, losses, and Mayhem butt kickin.
crap. Do we believe in miracles? (maybe...@@)
Hey, my team has faded in the stretch. Anything is possible.
Woof Woof, Kathy http://cognitivemanifesto.com/ http://www.skadden.com/index.cfm?contentID=49&officeID=9 Bendix ESP
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