The Sitter Review
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The Sitter
20th Century Fox
R 81 min
Jonah Hill. Dude what are you thinking?
You just got a plum from the big boys for the role in MONEYBALL and you follow up with this???
OK maybe this one was in the can first, I can accept that, but look unless you want to replace Stuart Pankin on those shoe insole infomercials it’d be a good idea to steer clear of this kind of crap. Sure a job’s a job and I can’t imagine turning down any starring role but this one is truly awful friends.
There were only two new flicks out before deadline and THE SITTER is one. Even I didn’t suspect just how miserable it would be. You’ve seen the trailers right? It’s supposed to look like a slightly raunchy ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING but with no Elisabeth Shue. Well yes it’s about babysitting and there is an adventure and it sure as hell is raunchy. Actually raunchy might be too kind; let’s use vulgar. In the first two minutes I said to myself this is on track to be one of the year’s worst. I can’t remember the exact quote but it was almost if not exactly “Fat guys eat the best pussy.” Now as a fat guy I almost filed a discrimination suit against the theater but I guessed Eric Holder is busy with the campaign so…
Anyway believe it or not, it’s downhill from there. Don’t worry it’s not just us rotund Americans but Negroes women gays body builders coke dealers and a host of others who might be pissed off by the stereotyping. But that’s not what makes THE SITTER such a big piece of garbage it’s the complete dearth of humor.
Hill is “Noah” (probably offensive to the ark building community) a lazy loser who lives with his divorced mother and is madly in love with a floozie who takes him for the sucker he is.
When his mom actually gets a chance for a date Noah reluctantly volunteers to babysit three screwy kids. A teen boy struggling to come out of the closet a preteen girl who wants to be the next Parris Hilton and a stunningly unpleasant Hispanic juvenile delinquent. On a mission to score some coke for his slutty paramour he and the kids get mixed up with an apparently homosexual drug kingpin and his entourage of musclemen. I didn’t like any of the characters and actively hated a few.
There wasn’t even one gross out chuckle.
This one really sucks.
F+
WSS
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