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Thank God for the Jaguars

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  • B bonedawg wrote on last edited by bonedawg
    #1

    If it weren't for the hapless disaster happening down in Jacksonville this year, the Browns would be straight up at the bottom of the barrel in the NFL. We might be able to beat the Jets, but if they score a touchdown, fucking forget about it. Once again, we're playing for field goals except now we don't even have Phil Automatic Dawson. We've got Billy butt-fucking Cundiff. We can change owners, coaches and players, but it's like groundhog day on offense every season. Getting a first down is like winning the goddamn super bowl for us. Our WRs can't catch, our OL can't block, and our QB is out there with this dumbfounded look on his face like he is staring at a calculus textbook upside down. Don't even talk about a QB controversy, Campbell sealed that competition with his little pussy underhanded throw today. We're stuck with Weeden until he retires 4 years from now. Oh, I forgot, when Gordon comes back next week we're going to turn into an offensive juggernaut right? Trent Richardson is looking absolutely average. Might not want to take the measurements for his HOF jacket just yet. I don't want to hear shit about the OL not opening up holes for him. Good running backs find holes, and when there aren't any, and they can make something out of nothing. I'm not saying that he should break of 20 yard runs every play, but shit, he runs like he has concrete in his cleats. When Ongyabunga gets a carry, it's like my DVR is on fast forward.

    The real kick in the ass about this year is that our defense is legit good. I'm used to the defense keeping us in games while our offense sputters like a 1987 Yugo, but this D is different. Our front seven are top 3 in the league. We made Ray Rice look like a punk bitch today. Sure, Buster Skrine is running around in the secondary with his head stuck in his ass, but holding the defending super bowl champs to 14 points is more than enough to be able to win that game. Oh that's right, our offense can only score two fucking field goals in 60 minutes of football. All of this comes when the Steelers and Ravens are in the decline. Seriously, we are chasing the fucking Bengals this year and we can't score a touchdown to save our lives. Our defense is going to have to hold teams to 3 points or under to give us a punchers chance to win a game. Horton is gone next year to a head coaching gig (probably Jacksonville), so we have 14 more games to work whatever magic we have before pressing the reset button. All in all, same fucking Browns. See you next Sunday.

    Edit: I'm drunk.

  • hoortaH hoorta wrote on last edited by
    #2

    🙂 I feel your pain. Had to wait until 2AM to post back, much wine will do that to you. Problem is, the Browns are going to be just good enough- again- to lose out on the #1 overall pick.

    Speaking of the Jags- it's a race to the bottom for yet another high pick. Lotsa luck there with Lombardi calling the shots. Only consolation- we'll be battling the injury decimated Steelers for the AFC North basement. Tune into ESPN tonight to watch the Queen City Kitties lay a royal ass whuppin' on the Squealers.

  • If it weren't for the hapless disaster happening down in Jacksonville this year, the Browns would be straight up at the bottom of the barrel in the NFL. We might be able to beat the Jets, but if they score a touchdown, fucking forget about it. Once again, we're playing for field goals except now we don't even have Phil Automatic Dawson. We've got Billy butt-fucking Cundiff. We can change owners, coaches and players, but it's like groundhog day on offense every season. Getting a first down is like winning the goddamn super bowl for us. Our WRs can't catch, our OL can't block, and our QB is out there with this dumbfounded look on his face like he is staring at a calculus textbook upside down. Don't even talk about a QB controversy, Campbell sealed that competition with his little pussy underhanded throw today. We're stuck with Weeden until he retires 4 years from now. Oh, I forgot, when Gordon comes back next week we're going to turn into an offensive juggernaut right? Trent Richardson is looking absolutely average. Might not want to take the measurements for his HOF jacket just yet. I don't want to hear shit about the OL not opening up holes for him. Good running backs find holes, and when there aren't any, and they can make something out of nothing. I'm not saying that he should break of 20 yard runs every play, but shit, he runs like he has concrete in his cleats. When Ongyabunga gets a carry, it's like my DVR is on fast forward.

    The real kick in the ass about this year is that our defense is legit good. I'm used to the defense keeping us in games while our offense sputters like a 1987 Yugo, but this D is different. Our front seven are top 3 in the league. We made Ray Rice look like a punk bitch today. Sure, Buster Skrine is running around in the secondary with his head stuck in his ass, but holding the defending super bowl champs to 14 points is more than enough to be able to win that game. Oh that's right, our offense can only score two fucking field goals in 60 minutes of football. All of this comes when the Steelers and Ravens are in the decline. Seriously, we are chasing the fucking Bengals this year and we can't score a touchdown to save our lives. Our defense is going to have to hold teams to 3 points or under to give us a punchers chance to win a game. Horton is gone next year to a head coaching gig (probably Jacksonville), so we have 14 more games to work whatever magic we have before pressing the reset button. All in all, same fucking Browns. See you next Sunday.

    Edit: I'm drunk.

    nickersN nickers wrote on last edited by nickers
    #3

    @bonedawg said:

    If it weren't for the hapless disaster happening down in Jacksonville this year, the Browns would be straight up at the bottom of the barrel in the NFL. We might be able to beat the Jets, but if they score a touchdown, fucking forget about it. Once again, we're playing for field goals except now we don't even have Phil Automatic Dawson. We've got Billy butt-fucking Cundiff. We can change owners, coaches and players, but it's like groundhog day on offense every season. Getting a first down is like winning the goddamn super bowl for us. Our WRs can't catch, our OL can't block, and our QB is out there with this dumbfounded look on his face like he is staring at a calculus textbook upside down. Don't even talk about a QB controversy, Campbell sealed that competition with his little pussy underhanded throw today. We're stuck with Weeden until he retires 4 years from now. Oh, I forgot, when Gordon comes back next week we're going to turn into an offensive juggernaut right? Trent Richardson is looking absolutely average. Might not want to take the measurements for his HOF jacket just yet. I don't want to hear shit about the OL not opening up holes for him. Good running backs find holes, and when there aren't any, and they can make something out of nothing. I'm not saying that he should break of 20 yard runs every play, but shit, he runs like he has concrete in his cleats. When Ongyabunga gets a carry, it's like my DVR is on fast forward.

    The real kick in the ass about this year is that our defense is legit good. I'm used to the defense keeping us in games while our offense sputters like a 1987 Yugo, but this D is different. Our front seven are top 3 in the league. We made Ray Rice look like a punk bitch today. Sure, Buster Skrine is running around in the secondary with his head stuck in his ass, but holding the defending super bowl champs to 14 points is more than enough to be able to win that game, but our offense can only score two fucking field goals in 60 minutes of football. All of this comes when the Steelers and Ravens are in the decline. Seriously, we are chasing the fucking Bengals this year and we can't score a touchdown to save our lives. Our defense is going to have to hold teams to 3 points or under to give us a punchers chance to win a game. Horton is gone next year to a head coaching gig (probably Jacksonville), so we have 14 more games to work whatever magic we have before pressing the reset button. All in all, same fucking Browns. See you next Sunday.

    Edit: I'm drunk.

    Awesome post...lots of passion there...hang in there...

  • D BoneD D Bone wrote on last edited by
    #4

    Awesome post, drunk or not.

  • If it weren't for the hapless disaster happening down in Jacksonville this year, the Browns would be straight up at the bottom of the barrel in the NFL. We might be able to beat the Jets, but if they score a touchdown, fucking forget about it. Once again, we're playing for field goals except now we don't even have Phil Automatic Dawson. We've got Billy butt-fucking Cundiff. We can change owners, coaches and players, but it's like groundhog day on offense every season. Getting a first down is like winning the goddamn super bowl for us. Our WRs can't catch, our OL can't block, and our QB is out there with this dumbfounded look on his face like he is staring at a calculus textbook upside down. Don't even talk about a QB controversy, Campbell sealed that competition with his little pussy underhanded throw today. We're stuck with Weeden until he retires 4 years from now. Oh, I forgot, when Gordon comes back next week we're going to turn into an offensive juggernaut right? Trent Richardson is looking absolutely average. Might not want to take the measurements for his HOF jacket just yet. I don't want to hear shit about the OL not opening up holes for him. Good running backs find holes, and when there aren't any, and they can make something out of nothing. I'm not saying that he should break of 20 yard runs every play, but shit, he runs like he has concrete in his cleats. When Ongyabunga gets a carry, it's like my DVR is on fast forward.

    The real kick in the ass about this year is that our defense is legit good. I'm used to the defense keeping us in games while our offense sputters like a 1987 Yugo, but this D is different. Our front seven are top 3 in the league. We made Ray Rice look like a punk bitch today. Sure, Buster Skrine is running around in the secondary with his head stuck in his ass, but holding the defending super bowl champs to 14 points is more than enough to be able to win that game. Oh that's right, our offense can only score two fucking field goals in 60 minutes of football. All of this comes when the Steelers and Ravens are in the decline. Seriously, we are chasing the fucking Bengals this year and we can't score a touchdown to save our lives. Our defense is going to have to hold teams to 3 points or under to give us a punchers chance to win a game. Horton is gone next year to a head coaching gig (probably Jacksonville), so we have 14 more games to work whatever magic we have before pressing the reset button. All in all, same fucking Browns. See you next Sunday.

    Edit: I'm drunk.

    Z Zombo wrote on last edited by
    #5

    @bonedawg said:

    If it weren't for the hapless disaster happening down in Jacksonville this year, the Browns would be straight up at the bottom of the barrel in the NFL. We might be able to beat the Jets, but if they score a touchdown, fucking forget about it. Once again, we're playing for field goals except now we don't even have Phil Automatic Dawson. We've got Billy butt-fucking Cundiff. We can change owners, coaches and players, but it's like groundhog day on offense every season. Getting a first down is like winning the goddamn super bowl for us. Our WRs can't catch, our OL can't block, and our QB is out there with this dumbfounded look on his face like he is staring at a calculus textbook upside down. Don't even talk about a QB controversy, Campbell sealed that competition with his little pussy underhanded throw today. We're stuck with Weeden until he retires 4 years from now. Oh, I forgot, when Gordon comes back next week we're going to turn into an offensive juggernaut right? Trent Richardson is looking absolutely average. Might not want to take the measurements for his HOF jacket just yet. I don't want to hear shit about the OL not opening up holes for him. Good running backs find holes, and when there aren't any, and they can make something out of nothing. I'm not saying that he should break of 20 yard runs every play, but shit, he runs like he has concrete in his cleats. When Ongyabunga gets a carry, it's like my DVR is on fast forward.

    The real kick in the ass about this year is that our defense is legit good. I'm used to the defense keeping us in games while our offense sputters like a 1987 Yugo, but this D is different. Our front seven are top 3 in the league. We made Ray Rice look like a punk bitch today. Sure, Buster Skrine is running around in the secondary with his head stuck in his ass, but holding the defending super bowl champs to 14 points is more than enough to be able to win that game. Oh that's right, our offense can only score two fucking field goals in 60 minutes of football. All of this comes when the Steelers and Ravens are in the decline. Seriously, we are chasing the fucking Bengals this year and we can't score a touchdown to save our lives. Our defense is going to have to hold teams to 3 points or under to give us a punchers chance to win a game. Horton is gone next year to a head coaching gig (probably Jacksonville), so we have 14 more games to work whatever magic we have before pressing the reset button. All in all, same fucking Browns. See you next Sunday.

    Edit: I'm drunk.

    You should get drunk more often, that was great.

    Zombo

  • USFBrownU USFBrown wrote on last edited by
    #6

    If we can get a WR or two who can catch and make an effort to fight for the ball, I believe we can compete. Sure our rb and o line suck. But we have no WR that defenses respect so it makes our problems even worse.

    Weeden at least improved by moving around in the pocket. You don't get many opportunities in the NFL, the dropped passes are killing any type of momentum and drive.

  • K King Ghollie wrote on last edited by
    #7

    Billy Cundiff hasnt missed a field goal or an extra point so until he does let's be happy we at least have a kicker that has done his job so far. Phil has missed a chip shot this year already btw

  • If we can get a WR or two who can catch and make an effort to fight for the ball, I believe we can compete. Sure our rb and o line suck. But we have no WR that defenses respect so it makes our problems even worse.

    Weeden at least improved by moving around in the pocket. You don't get many opportunities in the NFL, the dropped passes are killing any type of momentum and drive.

    djdawg2010D djdawg2010 wrote on last edited by
    #8

    @usfbrown said:

    If we can get a WR or two who can catch and make an effort to fight for the ball, I believe we can compete. Sure our rb and o line suck. But we have no WR that defenses respect so it makes our problems even worse.

    Weeden at least improved by moving around in the pocket. You don't get many opportunities in the NFL, the dropped passes are killing any type of momentum and drive.

    Yeah WTF is wrong with our WRs in not being able to get separation, and then when they do they can't hang on to the ball? I watched Denver vs NY Giants yesterday, and when a guy dropped the ball Manning had a look of disgust and you know for a fact he is in that WRs ass in the huddle! Weeden shows no backbone, and no command out there! Even Brian Brennan commented on the radio how if he or a WR would drop a ball Bernie would tell the WR to go take a seat, or threaten not to throw to him anymore! We need a QB with more leadership, command, and who demands accountability from the players around that! I see none of that with Weeden!

  • B bonedawg wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Now that I think about it, Jacksonville has a supposedly "elite" RB, underachieving QB, and a bunch of no-name WRs. Sounds strangely familiar...

  • Flyin JF Flyin J wrote on last edited by
    #10

    Lol Jacksonville fans are having a rally today to try and convince the team to sign Tebow. Think we could do the same thing to get Littlehands benched?

  • Lol Jacksonville fans are having a rally today to try and convince the team to sign Tebow. Think we could do the same thing to get Littlehands benched?

    gftChrisG gftChris wrote on last edited by
    #11

    XxDaBuckeyexX said:

    Lol Jacksonville fans are having a rally today to try and convince the team to sign Tebow.

    Yeah, that'll go well! I actually feel confident saying that Brandon Weeden is a *better* QB than Tebow. Not many fall in that category, though. Maybe Sanchez?

    FWIW, the jags chairman's yet another that's bought an EPL team.

  • Mark OM Mark O wrote on last edited by
    #12

    Tebow has won an NFL playoff game...so if that's what comes with the circus that surrounds him, I say sign him up and start him this Sunday.

  • Tebow has won an NFL playoff game...so if that's what comes with the circus that surrounds him, I say sign him up and start him this Sunday.

    Flyin JF Flyin J wrote on last edited by
    #13

    @mark-o said:

    Tebow has won an NFL playoff game...so if that's what comes with the circus that surrounds him, I say sign him up and start him this Sunday.

    : / they won that game in spite of Tebow. He made one throw on a slant (do we run those?) to Thomas which HE outran everyone for a TD. He didn't win shit lol.
  • B bonedawg wrote on last edited by
    #14

    How the fuck did this thread get hijacked into a Tebow discussion? ESPN has finally gotten off his nuts, and now I've got to read about him here?

  • How the fuck did this thread get hijacked into a Tebow discussion? ESPN has finally gotten off his nuts, and now I've got to read about him here?

    Browns149B Browns149 wrote on last edited by
    #15

    @bonedawg said:

    How the fuck did this thread get hijacked into a Tebow discussion? ESPN has finally gotten off his nuts, and now I've got to read about him here?

    ESPN is still posting articles about Tebow

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9680957/fans-urge-jacksonville-jaguars-sign-tebow-rally

  • Mark OM Mark O wrote on last edited by
    #16

    See I'd sign him and here's why. God hates Cleveland. But if sign the son of God to play QB for our team, it just might break the curse because God would be confused and stop torturing us like this...

  • See I'd sign him and here's why. God hates Cleveland. But if sign the son of God to play QB for our team, it just might break the curse because God would be confused and stop torturing us like this...

    djdawg2010D djdawg2010 wrote on last edited by
    #17

    @mark-o said:

    See I'd sign him and here's why. God hates Cleveland. But if sign the son of God to play QB for our team, it just might break the curse because God would be confused and stop torturing us like this...

    Perhaps. 😎 Though I'm wondering if it's some bad Karma from something that happened in this city's past. There are a lot of good things going on in this city right now, but we've had a fair share of shady leaders in this town that have done some bad things. Then of course regarding the Browns there was Modell purchasing the team and firing Paul Brown shortly after.

  • @mark-o said:

    See I'd sign him and here's why. God hates Cleveland. But if sign the son of God to play QB for our team, it just might break the curse because God would be confused and stop torturing us like this...

    Perhaps. 😎 Though I'm wondering if it's some bad Karma from something that happened in this city's past. There are a lot of good things going on in this city right now, but we've had a fair share of shady leaders in this town that have done some bad things. Then of course regarding the Browns there was Modell purchasing the team and firing Paul Brown shortly after.

    JAFBFJ JAFBF wrote on last edited by
    #18

    @djdawg2010 said:

    Perhaps. 😎 Though I'm wondering if it's some bad Karma from something that happened in this city's past. There are a lot of good things going on in this city right now, but we've had a fair share of shady leaders in this town that have done some bad things. Then of course regarding the Browns there was Modell purchasing the team and firing Paul Brown shortly after.

    Well, honestly, I can't seem to recall any other City that's actually had one of its' rivers catch fire . . . they're (rivers) generally not that Flammable.

  • The Cysko KidT The Cysko Kid wrote on last edited by
    #19

    Actually there's quite a few cities that have had rivers and other bodies of water catch fire. PBS had a cool documentary on it not long ago.

    Fracking is causing people's tap water to catch on fire right now. Look it up.

  • The Cysko KidT The Cysko Kid wrote on last edited by
    #20



    Here ill save you the trouble.