Obama sucks

DieHardBrownsFan

Okay, now for the joke:

Text from daughter to mom:

"Hello mom, I need your advice. I have some of my boyfriend's cum

stuck in my hair. How do I get it out? Will I have to cut it out?"

Text from mom to daughter:
"It’s nice you can send me such a frank text. No, you won't have to

cut it out. I've had loads of cum in my hair over the years and it

will just wash out."

Daughter back to mom:
"OMG, mom... I'm sorry, I meant to spell gum (G-U-M)."

calfoxwc

Obamao and moochelle go to Africa. They go on a shopping spree way out in the boondocks.

They buy 500 lbs of souveniors, but when the bush plane lands to pick them up, the pilot says

"hey, I can't haul both of you, and that 500 lbs. Buttock says "Hey, I'm president, and you can

keep your doctor and your ins...I mean, it should be no problem. Moochelle says, "look, you

white honkey, the last time, the pilot came and picked us up with the same plane, and he

took off just fine with our 500 lbs of stuff, too.."

So, the pilot was intimidated, and relented. Obamao and moochelle and the 500 lbs of stuff climbed

aboard, and the plane took off.

Moments later, however, the pilot had to make an emergency crash landing. The Obamaos climbed out

of the wreckage, and glared at the pilot and moochelle asks Buttock,

"Where the hell are we?"

And Buttock says:

"About the same place we crashed last time."

MLD Woody

Ha ha ha

. .......

sadbrownsfan

A liberal voter and a conservative voter argue while walking into a bar, the independent voter ducks.

DieHardBrownsFan

Wife is mad because:

· Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I

did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

· My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my

own fault. I should have taken them off.

· I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or

"foreplay" as she likes to call it.

· After both suffering from depression for a while, the wife and

I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough,

once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought,

screw it, I'll soldier on!

· I woke up this morning at 8 and just felt that something was wrong.

I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor,

not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I

remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

· The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.

I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

· My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out

the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death,

you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

· I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife

look like she's moving during sex.