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Hilarious Onion Article

The Browns Board
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  • Sometimes you just have to laugh so that you do not cry...enjoy guys - http://www.theonion.com/articles/browns-eyeing-6-quarterbacks-to-rifle-through-in-2,35601/

    GO BROWNS!

  • Heh, I can't wait until the Browns start winning so this crap will go away. 😛

    "I said, 'I need someone who's going to want to get on the roller coaster with me knowing that it's not always going to be fun,'" -Paul DePodesta
  • OsirisO Osiris

    Heh, I can't wait until the Browns start winning so this crap will go away. 😛

    @osiris said:

    Heh, I can't wait until the Browns start winning so this crap will go away. 😛

    EXACTLY!

  • does not seem funny to me

  • Based on a few comments about it, I don't think I will bother to read it.

  • yeah, already read enough negativity about the browns in a lifetime to even want to click that link.

    D BoneD R 2 Replies

  • Might as well take it down then, if Gip isn't gonna read it.

    I'm awesome, and I fuck dolphins. Ghoolie 12/2/2012: I have absolutely no skills, training or pride
    The GipperT 1 Reply

  • Its not that long, and is actually not that far of a stretch given our history with QBs haha

  • http://www.theonion.com/articles/browns-eyeing-6-quarterbacks-to-rifle-through-in-2,35601/

    CLEVELAND—In an effort to dispel uncertainty surrounding the quarterback position, Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine confirmed Monday that the team is currently monitoring six players to rifle through in rapid succession next season. “The competition for that starting spot is wide open right now, so we plan on blowing through at least a half dozen options at quarterback during the course of the regular season,” said Pettine, adding that following training camp and preseason, the team will select a new play caller to be the face of the franchise, only to bench him in week five after a string of subpar performances. “As head coach, I just have to go with the guy who gives us the best chance to win. Then I’ll replace him with someone else when he doesn’t come through, and we’ll repeat that process over and over again until we finally land on some washed-up veteran who will finish out our final few meaningless games.” Pettine also told reporters that quarterback Brian Hoyer is making good progress in his recovery from a torn ACL last season, making him a prime candidate to be traded for a pick in the 2015 draft.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Here's one that I wrote...

    CLEVELAND- The Cleveland Browns are going to go all-in at finding a Franchise Quarterback this upcoming 2014 NFL DRAFT. Sources close to Ray Farmer,the team's General Manager, have come forward stating inside information that Cleveland will draft four Quarterbacks next month, one in each of the first five rounds- excluding the 4th, where it's assumed that Pettine, will draft two kickers to battle it out for the starting spot. Incumbent starter Billy Cundiff appears to be one his way out after an interview with Pettine surfaced, in which Pettine said, "Yeah, I've been dealing with all the intricacies of the Head Coach pretty well, the only thing that bothers me is Billy Cundiff's face, I just want to punch him in his Peter-Pan looking "smuggy-mug". "Smuggy-mug"? That's a pink slip waiting to happen.

    Cleveland already has Veteran Quarterbacks- Brian Hoyer and the Harlem Globetrotters cover performer Alex Tanney on the roster. Recently the Browns have been spotted talking to several college QBs and even QBs from the AFL/CFL leagues. Just last week Mike Pettine was seen talking to a local grocery bagboy using very serious football analogies. It's still lightly rumored that Pettine was actually the mastermind behind finding Kurt Werner at a Hy-Vee grocery store in Cedar Falls. Maybe lightning strikes twice?

    The Browns have been linked to Bridgewater, Carr, Manziel and Bortles as well as McCarron and Boyd. There is another QB that they have been linked to as well, his last name starts with a G, but so far- every mock draft that has been posted on the internet in the last two months has the exact same guy going to their team in the third round, so don't be greedy Cleveland, isn't six Quarterbacks enough?

    The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. -Mark Twain- "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." -Mark Twain-
  • miktoxicM miktoxic

    yeah, already read enough negativity about the browns in a lifetime to even want to click that link.

    @miktoxic said:

    yeah, already read enough negativity about the browns in a lifetime to even want to click that link.

    Sing it brother

  • miktoxicM miktoxic

    yeah, already read enough negativity about the browns in a lifetime to even want to click that link.

    @miktoxic said:

    yeah, already read enough negativity about the browns in a lifetime to even want to click that link.

    so your callous should be longer than a country mile by now

    miktoxicM 1 Reply

  • Wasn't funny... and not saying that because I'm a Browns fan...

    But at least it was short...

    Welcome back TC...

    "When you have a shared vision it is a lot easier to make unpopular decisions." - Paul DePodesta "When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less." - Paul Brown Complete 2017 Browns Board Mock: http://thebrownsboard.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=46196
  • Tim Couch Pulls OutT Tim Couch Pulls Out

    Might as well take it down then, if Gip isn't gonna read it.

    @tim-couch-pulls-out said:

    Might as well take it down then, if Gip isn't gonna read it.

    Right on Brother!

    Or is it Ride On

    Or Write on

    😵

    D BoneD 1 Reply
  • R RoyceRolls

    @miktoxic said:

    yeah, already read enough negativity about the browns in a lifetime to even want to click that link.

    so your callous should be longer than a country mile by now

    @roycerolls said:

    so your callous should be longer than a country mile by now

    zepp wrote about it in 'stairway to heaven'.

  • The GipperT The Gipper

    @tim-couch-pulls-out said:

    Might as well take it down then, if Gip isn't gonna read it.

    Right on Brother!

    Or is it Ride On

    Or Write on

    😵

    @the-gipper said:

    Right on Brother!

    Or is it Ride On

    Or Write on

    😵

    Rite on

  • D BoneD D Bone

    @the-gipper said:

    Right on Brother!

    Or is it Ride On

    Or Write on

    😵

    Rite on

    @d-bone said:

    Rite on

    Rite-Aid on?

  • The GipperT The Gipper

    @d-bone said:

    Rite on

    Rite-Aid on?

    @the-gipper said:

    Rite-Aid on?

    More of the sacrificial kind than the pharmaceutical kind.

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