The Conjuring review
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The Conjuring 2
New Line
R. 134 min
Okay gang another retread, sorry.
Now as I recall I hated The Conjuring 1 and can't imagine how another helping of this foul concoction would taste any better.
But it is a weird release week and this one is, unfortunately, number one on the box office hit list, at least right now. Tagged onto the movie listings there is something called Cinescore which is a compilation of ratings around the country. As you know I won't read anyone's reviews until I've seen a film and made up my mind but this one had a reasonably high score. And believe me I trust that rating just about as much as a politicians campaign promise.
So for anyone who remembers the first outing you know it's about a husband and wife team of Ghostbusters back in the seventies who had something to do with probably the most financially rewarding spook scam of the century, THE AMITYVILLE HORROR. These two because of that association, became some of the best-known paranormal investigators in the world and made a pretty decent buck going from haunted house to haunted house searching for evil spirits.
You may remember the words of paranormal guru Happy Harry Cox who once said "There's a seeker born every minute." And as we know the Amityville situation isn't the only one to bring fame and riches to those claiming to be haunted or possessed or visited by aliens or whatever.
This particular tale is one from the casebook and it concerns a haunted flat in the Nottingham District of England. A single mother claims that her kids are being plagued buy some sort of strange spirit which appears to be the ghost of an old geezer who died of a brain aneurysm right there in the living room chair.
You know the drill; kids are seeing weird stuff, toys are moving on their own, there is pounding on the door, and furniture plates books, all sorts of stuff flying through the air, and of course a little girl making weird faces and speaking and a ghastly voice. Thank you POLTERGEIST and EXORCIST.
So just to make sure this claim is on the level a priest asks our two investigators to fly to England and check out the situation where they seem to observe some very hard to explain stuff. Even harder to explain is how anyone would find this crap interesting. It is, as so many of this type of film, a series of long protracted boring periods interrupted by sudden screaming and devilment. And that, friends, is that for over two hours.
At the very end we find out that the little girl is... Well and that the ghost is... Oh shucks, you're on your own.
Anyhow it is a series of cliches, dull and plodding and derivative, but most importantly an obvious crock of, well, shite as they say in Great Britain.
Of course being English probably makes it seem more dignified than it actually is so I will sport them the extra half grade.
D+
WSS
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Smoke some weed before you wath the film Steve. It will make em all more gooder.
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