Eclipse
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I looked at it without glasses. I saw the firmament.
Round earthers BTFO
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Weird. The world didn't end. No national guard to take away our rights either.Â
JAFBF, what's going on?Â
Did I buy all of these seeds and toilet paper for nothing!?!??
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That's a view woody is used to.?
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I was in NC for the 2017 eclipse. I think the sun was about 97% covered at that location. It's unreal how much light that 3% provides. For me, the reaction to 2017 was "well, that was neat, haven't seen it since 94." In contrast, today was a spiritual experience. Being able to actually look at it with the naked eye. Crickets started up when it went dark, and when the light came back, spring peepers started croaking.Â
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Repent!
Good thing we have our best and brightest representing us in Congress!
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Solar Eclipse 2024Add TopicÂ
The total solar eclipse failed to bring about the end times. I'm disappointed.
Nothing freakin' happened. Satan's demonic minions didn't rise up from the ground and drag me to the fiery pits of hell. There were literally zero raptures.
Rex Huppke
USA TODAYÂÂÂ0:420:42ÂÂÂLike most Americans, I was banking on the solar eclipse ushering in the end times and saving me from the unbearable horrors of a presidential election year and the general absurdity of human existence.
But Mondayâs much-ballyhooed eclipse came and went and ⌠nothing. The lights came back on, the land remained un-blighted and America continued to exist. Nary a locust to be found.
Clearly, this was a huge disappointment. Itâs like the Groundhog Day groundhog telling us we have six more weeks of winter, only this was the sun telling us we have to continue existing for an indefinite period of time in a world where people think random doses of horse dewormer are safer than vaccines.
Why oh why did the solar eclipse not usher in the end times?
ÂPondering the months ahead and the mind-blistering daily nonsense that will be blasted from Donald Trumpâs mouth-cannon, I viewed the potentially apocalyptic solar eclipse as a welcome way to shuffle off this mortal coil.
The moon blocking out the sun, I was told by the kind of sources who embraced the aforementioned horse dewormer, was a harbinger of doom. And as I glanced at a few social media feeds and saw the gushers of left- and right-wing babble, I welcomed the sweet embrace of death that would accompany this celestial moment.
ÂThe eclipse is upon usâ and so are the conspiracies. It's possible, even good, to enjoy it.
I joined the masses in counting down the moments until the skies began to dim.
ÂI wasnât in the path of totality but figured (fingers crossed!) the inevitable rivers of fire would still consume me.
Worst. Solar eclipse. Ever.
Slowly but surely, the sunlight dimmed.
But then, in a matter of minutes, it started coming back.
ÂWhat the heck? I was promised a descent into eternal darkness and an end to the ceaseless anguish of American life. Why could I still see my laptop and a headline that read: âTrump revives his wish that immigrants came from rich White countries.â
THATâS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS COUNTING ON THE ECLIPSE TO ERADICATE!!!
ÂWhat's so special about the eclipse?You have to see it to believe it.
Our dreams of an end to American politics (and life) faded quickly
Nothing freakinâ happened. Satanâs demonic minions didnât rise up from the ground and drag me to the fiery pits of hell. There were literally zero raptures. The earth did not split open and swallow all of humanity into its gaping maw.Â
I briefly thought I saw a chupacabra, but it was just my dog wearing her chupacabra costume.
ÂYou disappoint me, eclipse. I had such high hopes for an end of days.
Good grief. Whatâs a guy gotta do to drown in a river of blood and avoid months of hearing people who donât know the difference between âyourâ and âyouâreâ defend a con-artist former president who wouldnât spit on them if they were on fire.
ÂThanks for nothing, solar eclipse. A lot of us were counting on you to bring a swift end to the chaos of modern American life.
Now weâre left to wait around and hope an asteroid comes along and does the job properly.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X
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Closest thing to an eclipse we saw around here
Our musical works to date http://www.arielsatticmusic.com/ -
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And there it is
And there it is
You're late to the party.. That was already posted..
Nickers...."There are no old running QB's in the NFL "~Sam Rutigliano~ -
And there it is
And there it is
There what is? Someone who belongs in a mental ward did something nutty and horrendous?
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And there it is
You're late to the party.. That was already posted..
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