The Football Gods Demand a Sarcrifice.
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Look, friends. I'm not going to lie to you, it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. And you may ask how it could possibly get worse after today's stillbirth, and I maintain it certainly can. I mean, we could lay this egg against someone like the Bengals or Raiders or Chiefs, and that'll be really embarrassing. More embarrassing than this, I assure you. So before April 2010 when Randy Lerner whips it out and spooges directly in our collective face with "his" selection of Sam Bradford #1, we need to do something to at least semi-right this sinking ship. Because if we end up with the 1st pick, Lerner's 100% going QB (because he's a fcuking Retard), which means we'll be having this conversation (again) three years from now. And that my friends will SUCK BALLS.
In that case, what are we to do? How do we avoid this terrible situation? It's all-too-clear Mangini, Quinn, Anderson et al. have no interest in helping us avoid the dastardly #1 pick/face spooge. They're busy throwing picks and fining guys for "stealing" water. Who's left, then? Rogers? Right. Edwards? See Rogers. Jamal Lewis? See Tommy Vardell. Then WHO??? It has to then be The Football Gods, that's who. They can right any ship out there. Just ask the Cardinals. Their message board reportedly sacrificed a member (a Leinart "Fag") to the Football Gods early last season and subsequently made the Super Bowl. And they now demand a sacrifice from us, the loyal Browns Fans. That's unless you want to place your future in Mangini, Quinn, Anderson and Lerner's hands...
OK. I've proven to be WAAAAAAY too valuable a member/resource here, so it's clearly not going to be me (much to the chagrin of clowns like DieHard). Plus, this idea was born from my genius. Anyway, I'll be looking for volunteers. All you need to do is, in this very thread, post 1) How long you've been a Browns fan 2) Your first name 3) What city you reside and 4) a sentence or two that would convince me to choose you as the Football Gods' sacrificial lamb. Ideally, I'd like all applications by Thursday or Friday, so we can get the sacrifice in by the time the Bungles game rolls around.
And what's in it for you, the "sacrificial lamb" of the Browns Board? First, you'll absolutely live in infamy here (and everywhere Browns Fans reside, really) as the guy/gal who sacrificed his/her membership here for the betterment of the Browns. Also, you won't have to endure the drunken post-game whining from whiny Browns Board members.
We, the Browns, need you!
Please submit your applications below. I look forward to hearing from you.
Mike
(PS can some friendly mod sticky this??)
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Lets sacrifice .mz the pussy. To get the best result we need to sacrifice the most intelligent Browns fan.
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Take Ariens back and sacrifice HIM !!! We will be Better and the Curse will be lifted from CLeveland and we can have Good games again !!! LOL !
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@danamal said:
I cant submit,Good ,worse or total suckage,I am a Browns fan and I am used to the abuse, hey that could be a new T-shirt for the pro shop,
"taken abuse since 1964"
Cant leave, its like the car wreck you cant take your eyes off of.
Its worse than that its the car crash that happens every week like the movie groundhogs day and keeps reminding you that the expansion browns are not or never will be the real browns...i want out but have no place to go....hehehehehe
I will always be a browns fan but this is not the team i grew up watching nor is it owned by an interesting meddling fool i loved to hate instead its owned by the invisible man from new york..
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Lets sacrifice .mz the pussy. To get the best result we need to sacrifice the most intelligent Browns fan.
Lets sacrifice .mz the pussy. To get the best result we need to sacrifice the most intelligent Browns fan.
Perhaps you need to re-read the instructions, because you seem like a decent candidate..
Again...you must submit yourself (or else everyone would be submitting Lumbergh, and since he isn't even a Browns Fan the Gods will not look favorably upon his selection anyway).
You are correct about the intelligence part, however.
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Dude, no offense, but I'm too drunk to read that long post. Sounded too intense and official too.
Anyone have Cliff Notes?
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What exactly does this sacrifice involve, and will there be cake?
OK, eternal infamy, Browns success and cake.
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I believe the Gods would want the sacrificed to be thrown into the mouth of an active volcano, at least thats what I learned in history class... or maybe it was Gilligan's Island. Either way.
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Obviously mz the pussy found some good stuff to ingest in some fashion.
Here's an appropriate stand in pic for Anteater's application:
Yeah. Toss that in the volcano. Quick, before he sobers up. -
I believe the Gods would want the sacrificed to be thrown into the mouth of an active volcano, at least thats what I learned in history class... or maybe it was Gilligan's Island. Either way.
I believe the Gods would want the sacrificed to be thrown into the mouth of an active volcano, at least thats what I learned in history class...
Well......yeah. You know, I'll be playing Rip Torn's role in Beastmaster.
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